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Step-parenting

So unfair, think DD has missed out on P1 place because I'm a stepmum.

69 replies

fatandhateful · 03/05/2014 20:16

That's it, really.
Three of the five criteria are about older siblings.

  1. Children who have a brother(s)/sister(s), half-brother(s)/half-sister(s) already enrolled
  2. Children who are only, or eldest in their family.
  3. Children whose brother(s)/sister(s), half-brother(s)/half-sister(s) previously attended the school.



The DSC didn't go there - but that's hardly anything to do with me or my daughter. I even wrote them a cover letter explaining about the older kids being half-siblings and not my children, but obviously they haven't treated her as "eldest or only". Which she would be if I were single.

We meet the other criteria, and when we met with the school principal before the applications went in, he said that in his experience, everyone who put them as first choice had gotten it.

I'm so depressed. Once again, my girl loses out because of choices made for the DSC before I even came along.
OP posts:
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DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/05/2014 20:20

No idea what P1 is but can't you appeal?

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ilovepowerhoop · 03/05/2014 20:22

P1 = Primary 1 I would imagine (first year of primary school in Scotland)

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DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/05/2014 20:23

I'm in England so sorry if it's different in Scotland, but could you put DD on a waiting list?

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ilovepowerhoop · 03/05/2014 20:25

is it not your catchment school then? Did you do a placing request?

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JodieGarberJacob · 03/05/2014 20:25

Why did you say the older children were half-siblings though? They are not related to your dd at all. By saying they were half-siblings and not previous attendees means you are further down the list than necessary. Sorry if I've misunderstood but as an only your dd would fit criterion 2.

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ilovepowerhoop · 03/05/2014 20:27
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DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/05/2014 20:27

They are step- not half-siblings though?

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wolfofwestfieled · 03/05/2014 20:27

Are they half siblings or step siblings?

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ImAThrillseekerBunny · 03/05/2014 20:28

Those are strange criteria. Is that really normal in Scotland? Do they even have an Admissions Code? Normally the codes go into a lot of detail about exactly what they mean by "siblings" or "child of the family" in the small print because so many families have step-relatives, IME it's normally driven by cohabiting, and would include step siblings, but your OP implies that they are applying a different definition for one category than for another, which is very questionable.

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ImAThrillseekerBunny · 03/05/2014 20:32

I assume they are the OP's step-children but the DDs half-siblings? In which case the treatment of the DD is driven by the decisions her father made. He has three children, so his youngest is not an only or eldest child.

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RhondaJean · 03/05/2014 20:33

Why would you automatically assume its because of that?

I live in Scotland so I do know the system and most of the time when placing requests are unsuccessful its becaus ethe school is already full with children who actually live in the catchment area.

There's something rather unpleasant about your attitude o four child missing out "once again" because of having siblings to be totally honest, your post leaves a bad taste in my mouth. To jump to the immediate assumption it's due to where the other children go is bizarre.

All it means is that your dd would have higher priority at the school her siblings go to.

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DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/05/2014 20:43

But OP wrote that her DD would be the eldest if she were single so that doesn't sound as if the DH is her dad? Might be wrong if course

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JodieGarberJacob · 03/05/2014 20:44

The op referred to 'my' daughter and not 'our' daughter I think that's why I assumed they were step-siblings.

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purpleroses · 03/05/2014 20:45

So the school is putting children who have older siblings attending different schools to the bottom of the heap? And they've counted your DSC as siblings therefore your DD is pushed to the bottom of the list even though you never had any say in the choice of school for the DSC? If that's right then it does sound unfair. Can you appeal based on her being your first or only child?

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RhondaJean · 03/05/2014 20:47

Ah sorry that's a bit different if it's the case, I just can't imagine resenting your child's brothers and sisters.

However if that is the case it means the other children had absolutely nothing to do with the placing request being denied as step brothers and sisters are nothing to do with the priorities mentioned so the child should have been treated as an eldest. I'd assume the school was full from the catchment area this year.

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meditrina · 03/05/2014 20:48

I'm not that familiar with the Scottish system, but somewhere there must be a detailed description of what relationships count as half siblings, and he to define whether they live at the same address during the week.

OP: can you get hold of those definitions? What exactly do they say?

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ilovepowerhoop · 03/05/2014 20:50

have they actually given a reason for the decision not to award a place to your daughter? What is wrong with the catchment school?

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RhondaJean · 03/05/2014 20:51

The Scottish system is that if you live in the school catchment area you automatically get a place (unless hugely oversubscribed then you get the next nearest) and any places left over are available to placement requests.

If the school is full you don't get in, it doesn't matter which priority you meet or don't meet.

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ilovepowerhoop · 03/05/2014 20:52

if the out of catchment school is full then they wouldnt be able to offer your dd a place anyway.

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Quangle · 03/05/2014 20:53

I don't understand. Why would you get priority if other children in your family are not there? That's the only point of the sibling rule - to make it easier for parents who need to get kids into the same school.

Whether they are or are not siblings is irrelevant here. If you don't have practical issues around pickup etc, then the school frankly won't care whether DD does or doesn't have siblings.

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fatandhateful · 03/05/2014 20:54

Half-siblings. Not Scotland. Northern Ireland. There are unique circumstances here around schooling, especially in regards to religion and education.
Purpleroses, that's exactly it. The choice of schooling made years ago for other children of a different background to mine, should be irrelevant to the selection process.
It's not much of an assumption. It's a conclusion based on talking to the school principal previously, and on their admissions criteria.
There is no catchment area.
I was a single mum to DD before marrying my DH although she is his child.

OP posts:
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fatandhateful · 03/05/2014 20:56

I agree with you, Quangle, where siblings are (or were, as they left primary school ages ago) shouldn't prevent parents from choosing a different school for a younger child, but it does. She's bumped down the list because the older kids went somewhere else.

OP posts:
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treaclesoda · 03/05/2014 21:10

There is an appeals process through the appropriate Education and Library board. Have you investigated that yet? It says you can appeal if you feel they haven't applied the specified admissions criteria fairly, for example, which sounds like what you are referring to.

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fatandhateful · 03/05/2014 21:13

Thanks treacle. Yes, I'll definitely be appealing, and am ringing the school on Tuesday too...I'm pessimistic about it because the letter says very clearly that they won't consider an appeal on any other grounds other than the criteria being wrongly applied, and I think they may well say "well, they've applied them correctly, we don't care about whether it's fair or makes any sort of common sense!" But I will definitely be appealing. There's not much else I can do.

OP posts:
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treaclesoda · 03/05/2014 21:21

Hmm, well, maybe make sure that you don't use the word unfair but just be really adamant that you consider it incorrect to not class your child as the eldest/only? .

Good luck.

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