Things are so nice during the week!

(103 Posts)
yoyo27 Thu 17-Apr-14 12:08:35

As I type this I have my own children playing in the garden, two step children upstairs doing their own thing. Tried to involve them downstairs but they don't want to. Fiancé has popped into town.

I hate having them here

YoureBeingASillyBilly Thu 17-Apr-14 16:45:46

And believe me i find no amusement at all in children being made out to be demons by adults. My children are step children and it breaks my heart to think they are being treated like this.

yoyo27 Thu 17-Apr-14 16:55:50

I beg your pardon? At what point have I 'listed their faults'? Or said that my children don't?

Thank you for the helpful posts, I really appreciate them. I won't bother on this bitchy site again

Greensleeves Thu 17-Apr-14 16:59:49

Judgemental - yes, you bet I am when it comes to adults behaving like spoilt selfish toddlers and blaming the actual children involved for this not being a perfect world

bitter - no, not really - I'm not the one who wants to airbrush a 9yo and an 11yo out of my life because they don't prance around laughing in the sunshine in front of a stepmother who despises them

YoureBeingASillyBilly Thu 17-Apr-14 17:05:43

You listed them in the post i quoted. Hth.

dogfish22 Thu 17-Apr-14 17:07:08

SillyBilly, you are making the assumption that the OP doesn't know this, and hasn't thought about that.
Questions designed to patronise another person are actually quite rude. We all have faults. Hurrah.

Apparently I'm cold and unpleasant. And god knows what the OPs children are doing wrong to set those poor DSC off in a strop. o.O

yoyo27 Thu 17-Apr-14 17:10:33

Despise them? Not at all. But if your children had friends that came over every weekend and made your kids cry, were rude to you, would you want them to still come over?

In fact the only people being unpleasant are the people posting negative comments on this thread

YoureBeingASillyBilly Thu 17-Apr-14 17:10:53

Dogfish- it wasnt my intention to patronise or be rude. I assumed she hadnt considered it because there was no indication in her posts that she had. There seemed to be little to no acknowledgent that these children were just normal children like her own with feelings they are probably struggling with. It seemed like he was blaming their personalities for everything being awful.

Badvoc Thu 17-Apr-14 17:10:54

Sounds like he wants a babysitter tbh...

Greensleeves Thu 17-Apr-14 17:14:50

Well, sometimes, my own children make each other cry and are rude to me. But I don't wish they weren't here!

These are not your children's friends. They are children of your family. You and your dp need to grow up.

dogfish22 Thu 17-Apr-14 17:16:30

SillyBilly, no, she has listed certain behaviours that need to be addressed by their father. Behaviours are not 'faults'. Unless you want to go with the notion that behaviours are equal to personality traits, in which case I would have to attest you a couple of things as well, and I very much doubt you would want that.

Greensleeves, when you get a cold, do you complain about the stupid virus that is just about to take over yet another cell in your respiratory tract, or are you complaining about the fact that you have a stuffy nose? OP is venting about a symptom (DCS behaviour), when the cause is OPs fiancé.

I would also like to congratulate both of you, as you successfully managed to scare the OP away with the judgemental crap you two are spouting. Maybe look for a new hobby?

dogfish22 Thu 17-Apr-14 17:18:28

SillyBilly, then I would suggest to actually read the whole thread next time, as I went on about exactly that at length and OP was in agreement.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Thu 17-Apr-14 17:20:50

Well dogfish i'll extend my congratulations to you in completely misreading the tone and intention of my posts and responding aggressively when it was completely misplaced. I think maybe you are too quick to attack.

Greensleeves Thu 17-Apr-14 17:24:16

She's not being "scared off", she doesn't like being disagreed with and didn't expect anything other than "aw we've all been there hun xxx"

wrong forum. and I like my hobby just fine, thanks.

needaholidaynow Thu 17-Apr-14 17:27:18

Maybe certain other support forums should stop expecting others to agree with them then. Or is it just exclusively the SP forum where they shouldn't expect a pat on the back and a bit of support?

Greensleeves Thu 17-Apr-14 17:31:36

There's nowhere on MN where you would get a "pat on the back" for saying "I hate having them here" about your dp's preteen kids. Because....it's vile.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Thu 17-Apr-14 17:32:03

confused what 'certain other support forums'? And surely it is people that expect? A forum is just that- it cant have expectations. Different people make up the forums. Some expect agreement at all times, others are more realistic and know they arent always right. That goes for every forum.

3littlefrogs Thu 17-Apr-14 17:41:37

I would be completely rethinking your relationship and future with this man OP.
It sounds as if you would all be much happier if you had separate households and he parented his own DC.

Is he the father of your 2 DC?

yoyo27 Thu 17-Apr-14 17:54:16

3littlefrogs, yes he is.

An example of the upset.....last weekend my SS ran around calling my son 'nappy boy' and pointing and laughing (he was wearing pyjama pants, which he hides)

needaholidaynow Thu 17-Apr-14 18:01:59

Nappy Boy? That's bullying. My DSD absolutely adores her brothers. She has a heart of gold. She wouldn't dream of bullying them. She is a stepchild, but doesn't see that as an opportunity to be troublesome and unpleasant. I too was a stepchild, and guess what, I wasn't troublesome or unpleasant either.

needaholidaynow Thu 17-Apr-14 18:08:37

No excuses. Stepchildren or not, they are behaving appallingly. Too right the OP is going to point the blame at them. And her DP for not tackling his kids' behaviour.

Greensleeves Thu 17-Apr-14 18:19:05

What rubbish! Kids do call each other names, especially in families. You discipline them and move on. Not wish they weren't there hmm

needaholidaynow Thu 17-Apr-14 18:23:13

Yes, you do discipline them. The OP's DP is quite clearly failing at that. Maybe the OP has tried, but she gets nowhere with it. What do ou want her to do, sit there and smile and be excited about their presence when absolutely nothing is being done about their behaviour? I wouldn't look forward to them coming either...

SchnitzelVonKrumm Thu 17-Apr-14 18:50:22

Sorry, how many children are we talking about? Can't imagine a 17 month old being bothered about being called nappy boy, or wearing pyjama pants for that matter. Do you each have two children and then two together?

3littlefrogs Thu 17-Apr-14 18:51:24

So his two older children must have been part of your life for some time?
Has their behaviour changed since you had the two younger ones?
You say they are 4m and 17m? They are very small and close in age, it must be very hard work and difficult for you to pay much attention to the older ones.
Why does your partner leave you to look after them all?

SchnitzelVonKrumm Thu 17-Apr-14 18:56:12

Can't imagine why you'd think nine and 11 year olds would want to play with a four-month old and a 17-month old either.

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