I am getting to the end of my tether. DH's exW is a complete nightmare and I am beginning to wonder if I can cope with this behaviour affecting the life of myself and my DS long term.
Since getting together exW has gone out of her way to manipulate and lie about everything relating to the children and has gone on a massive hate campaign to discredit DH.
When I first met their DCs she lied about an allergy to my dog to try and prevent them having any contact with them. She tried to obstruct our wedding plans, moved house after we moved to be closer to DH's DCs, sent him cosy messages whilst we were on our honeymoon - the list is endless.
Alongside all her obstructions to my relationship with DH and SCs she is also emotionally and physically neglectful towards my SCs (her DD8 and DS5). We eventually took her to court for her neglect. Generally it was lies about progress at school, emotional neglect, physical neglect (SC's slept in a hallway for 7 months whilst she renovated her house - meanwhile her partner's children had a bedroom), SS has been flagged as Dyspraxic but she has moved him through 5 schools/nurseries (3 in last 2 years) so nothing has been done about it (he is also her scapegoat), SD is worrying us too as she is the "golden child" and is is being treated in a way that we feel is not age appropriate (hair straightening, grown-up make up, high heels, talking about looking sexy etc...). The list of concerns was massive but you get the idea. There was also an issue with her withholding contact if we didn't do all the travel to collect/drop off (she did 50/50 when she lived 25 miles away, but when she moved to over 70 she refused to do any at all) - she even got her new partner to harass DH and threaten to withhold contact on her behalf (but then denied it totally in court).
Somehow the courts focussed entirely on the travel and cafcas seemed totally uninterested in all of our welfare concerns. DH was so disheartened and defeated by the whole thing that he just let it drop with the intention of going through their school/Social Services to get welfare issues sorted. A month on he is now so worried about kicking the hornets nest that he is not going to do anything. He feels powerless and we seem to argue about it all the time as I am really concerned about my SCs and feel unable to do any more than patch them up and send them home after every contact which is emotionally draining. It is also incredibly frustrating seeing her have such massive control over him - even after being separated for 3 years.
What the hell do I do?? Any advice would be massively appreciated
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Trying to deal with DH's Narcissistic ExW...
43 replies
Asteria · 27/02/2014 19:31
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