I was full time primary carer for DSD for nearly 4 year. Did all school runs, doctors, everything.
I have left DH. It has been in the offing for a while but came to a head over xmas and I have moved out. DSD staying with GPs for a bit.
I am still trying to see her as much as possible, but it isn't enough. She is my little girl and I miss her so much. I miss that my role has suddenly disappeared - I've had mums from the school texting to ask where I am. DSD said to me 'will you still be friends with x's mum? Because you're not really being my mum anymore are you?' I don't know what to say to her. It is all such a big horrible mess.
How will I cope? I feel like someone has removed a limb. I miss her more than I think I will ever miss DH and she was an enormous factor in me staying so long.
Thought this might be you. It's actually rather lovely to hear your DSD misses you - you really did right by her, and she knows it.
As for MIL's spoiling, surely that can't do too much harm in the current circumstances, when the poor girl is not exactly living normal life and needs kindness (even if it's over-indulgence disguised! )