This is my first posting here so be gentle with me please!
I'm a stepmum of a 12 year old girl. Married her dad a year ago. She lives with her mum and stepdad but visits us once a fortnight. Anyway tonight was the 2nd time I've caught her referring to her stepdad as 'dad'. She checked herself and tried to cover it up but I caught it. Tbh I think it went over her dad's head but I heard it and it hurt me on behalf of her dad. I don't know what to do. Should I talk to her about it privately? Let it go? Talk to my hubby? I don't want to hurt him by bringing it up if he's blissfully ignorant. But it doesn't feel right.
I am struggling with the whole stepmum thing besides all this but it's great to know from the forum that it's not just me and that others understand my situation. I don't have any friends who are stepmums and it can be quite isolating.
Thanks everyone. It's interesting to see different perspectives. I find I am constantly treading on eggshells wondering whether something is worth raising or not so I like the idea of making a joke out of it rather than bringing it up as a heavy topic. I do feel that it's disrespectful to my husband and I know that her mum does everything she can to bring him down in her daughter's eyes - despite the divorce being as a result of the mum's repeated infidelity. Go figure.
The most important thing is my stepdaughter grows up as well adjusted as possible so that's the ultimate aim.
It was said early on in this thread that my stepdaughter must be fine as she appears to be coping and a pleasant girl on the whole. Having been a step daughter myself I can say that it's never that simple. Children can be people pleasers and what lies beneath is not always as healthy as it appears.