ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.

What a daft question!!

(16 Posts)
needaholidaynow Mon 11-Nov-13 15:36:26

After being asked what our Christmas plans are and when we're having DSD (answer: Christmas evening/ boxing day), this was the question that BIL asked....

"Are you waiting until DSD comes to yours before DS1 and DS2 open their presents?"

Is this normal? Do step families do this? I'm not sure why mine should wait all day while DSD gets to enjoy Christmas morning opening presents from her mum confused

Bloody minefield this stepfamily stuff!

Either way I told him NO!

SoupDragon Mon 11-Nov-13 15:38:17

It's not completely daft - I assume you're saving some so that your DSs don't have to sit watching DSD open hers. smile

needaholidaynow Mon 11-Nov-13 15:40:25

Na I was going to let them open them all on Christmas morning to be honest. Lol. Maybe I'll save one or two, but BIL was on about all of them.

purpleroses Mon 11-Nov-13 15:41:16

I'd wait until she was there before opening any presents that are from her or to her, but no reason why you shouldn't open the other ones without her, especially if she's having her own presents at her mum's. You can hardly have them sitting their looking at their stockings for the whole day, can you? shock.

Stepfamilies do all sorts of mad different things at Christmas I think. My DSC come to us every year, as their mum prefers a quiet day with the inlaws but she does a full second Christmas for them on some other day of the holidays, complete with stockings and turkey!

WhisperingShadow Mon 11-Nov-13 15:47:53

We use to have to wait til my step sister arrived around mid day. Her mum always dropped her off late. I felt so sorry for my younger sister.

We managed to secure my stepsons for eve, day and boxing day so my daughter is going to be so excited. I can't wait for them to be together. But the age difference is 15 years plus.

I would hold some back and sell it as two sets of present opening.

ds will have a a few from us and rest of family Christmas day then the others boxing day with his Sbro and ssis. He likes the excitement of opening things with them and it means he isn't sat watching. It works for us

No absolutely not, I'd save one present each for the other two to open with Dss, blimey grin am I awful?!

allnewtaketwo Mon 11-Nov-13 18:44:17

Absolutely not, what a load of nonsense. Why should one child have to delay the excitement of Christmas so that another child gets to enjoy 2 sets

I wouldn't make your dc wait for all presents as you say the other child is getting their Christmas day and presents. There are some of our family who don't know sc so don't buy for them so ds has more family presents Christmas day so we can keep some to one side for the next day .I have chosen 5 things off us to keep and a few from my grandparents. might be an idea to keep a few back if you think your dc will be bored watching others

needaholidaynow Mon 11-Nov-13 19:35:41

Thanks for all of your helpful words smile I will be keeping a few presents to one side, just so that they can all open some presents together and the boys also get "two" sets of presents opening. Fantastic way of looking at it! THANKYOU x

ds tells everyone he gets two Christmasesgrin he thinks it's cool to have boxing day too . glad you found a solution that works for you all smile

Kaluki Tue 12-Nov-13 11:08:04

That's ridiculous!!! It's not all about the stepchildren FFS!!!
My DC will open all their presents Xmas morning like they always have done and they will watch DSD and DSS open theirs in the afternoon.
We have bought them a few joint presents too that my dc will have to wait until DSC arrive to open.

SkullyAndBones Tue 12-Nov-13 11:31:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZombieMojaveWonderer Tue 12-Nov-13 12:07:02

Why on earth would you be so cruel and make them wait blush
I am giving my ex all our presents so he can give them to the kids on Christmas Day so there's none of this opening presents later crap. I know my husbands ex won't do that but that's up to her.

Kaluki Tue 12-Nov-13 12:42:53

My poor dsc will open their presents at their Mums on Xmas morning and then come to us at 3 in the afternoon for the week until NY day, but they will have to leave everything they got at their Mums because they aren't allowed to bring any toys to our house.
So they open one lot of presents then don't get to have them for a week then probably open the exact same presents and keep them at ours.
CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY!!!

catsmother Tue 12-Nov-13 12:57:07

If your kids were little, I might save one or two pressies back just to avoid any (unjustified) whingeing about "it's not fair" when SD arrives and opens hers, i.e. if they're too small to remember that they were opening stuff earlier that day ! However, if your kids were old enough to understand I'm not sure I'd even bother doing that.

Can't understand your BIL's question either - it's almost as if, like Allnew says, that he's implying two children have to wait all day on tenterhooks (which, with most kids, would turn them into over-excited nightmares) so that one child doesn't "miss out". Which, of course, SD won't be, as she'll have already enjoyed a traditional present opening elsewhere.

I really do think sometimes that the expectations of some people - and it's very often bloody in-laws - are ridiculously unrealistic and none of their business anyway. There's so often this desperation and fear of "upsetting" the stepkids which turns otherwise sensible people into "politically correct" twits who completely fail to see that their "helpful" suggestions actually have a negative impact on other children in the family .... though some of them would probably think this was okay, given that the stepkids were "first". It's completely bloody stupid, as, in the situation described here, I very much doubt that the SD would be upset or offended if no-one else was opening presents except her. Many kids would see that as a bonus in fact - that all the attention was on them. Sorry - rant over.

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