DH has recently lost his job. This is not good news for anyone and he is stressed out, understandably. I really, really feel for him. He is doing all he can to secure another and looks like he will have to take quite a pay cut to get one.
Meanwhile, his ex has been less than sympathetic. Of course she is worried. Up until this point he has been paying her a very large four figure sum (Child maintenance + spousal maintenance), in part because he used to be a high earner but those days were some years ago and so he has been using what is left of his savings to continue at the same level. They have one child between them and shared residency.
Currently she is putting a LOT of pressure on him to sort this out, which he is trying so hard to do. He can pay her this month and maybe next with what is left in the pot but after that if he doesn't get a job....
I work full time, but don't earn a lot of money, and contribute to our household. It certainly won't stretch to keeping us all afloat. I do have some savings that I was hoping we could put down towards a deposit to buy a house in the future. In light of the changing financial circumstances I now have no problem in using this money to keep the three of us (me, Dh and stepchild) going until such time he finds a job but am now under some pressure to also fund the ex (talking spousal maintenance here, child maintenance I would be happy to pay). I think this may well evoke in me bad feelings, sorry!, and be harmful with regards to the DH's and my relationship in the future.
I know that the Ex lives mortgage free, works part time and receives benefits, and that not receiving the DH's spousal maintenance will be a hardship but.... Am I being unreasonable? How can I manage this without upsetting anyone, including me? What should I do?
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Step-parenting
Money issues when partner loses job - my role as SM?
sm12 · 22/10/2013 11:34
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