Would you just butt out and let dad deal ?

(11 Posts)
FedupofTurkey Sun 20-Oct-13 19:54:21

2 dss share a room (5 and 8), they watch tv at bedtimes sometimes till 9/10 pm. They are then tired/grumpy the next day. Personally I don't think they should as I'm the one that deals with the grumpiness. However dad thinks its fine. Should I just butt out and stop getting stressed about it.

Dogonabeanbag Sun 20-Oct-13 19:57:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess Sun 20-Oct-13 20:00:28

Why is it you dealing with the grumpiness where is dh?

FedupofTurkey Sun 20-Oct-13 20:05:09

Kids with us full time, bedtimes are shared , dad does earlies so I'm alone in the morning, I do discipline but not if dad is there i let him do it though although he's not a disney parent I'm stricter with more boundaries

strruglingoldteach Sun 20-Oct-13 20:07:46

If you have them in the morning, then you should definitely get a say in when they go to bed- you need to have a word with your dp.

RandomMess Sun 20-Oct-13 20:17:27

Just tell him it's too late you can't get them up in the morning so either he pays for a nanny to come and do mornings or they need to have lights off much earlier!

louby44 Sun 20-Oct-13 21:06:29

My 14 DS goes to bed at 9pm and lights out at 10pm, that is far too late for kids of that age.

You need to sit DP and talk about this. Kids grow when they're asleep, it will affect their concentration at school and they will struggle to learn!

purpleroses Sun 20-Oct-13 22:40:09

9/10pm is too late for a 5 year old, or an 8 year old on a school night. If you're the one dealing with it in the morning, then you should get a say in what time they go to bed.

Men can sometime be a bit out of the loop with other parents, don't read parenting books, etc so your DP may genuinely think it's OK. But it's not, and if you're to help him bring his DC up, then you need to make decisions over things like bedtimes jointly.

I'd suggest 8pm for bed, and lights out by 8.30 for kids of that age. My 10 year old has lights out by 9pm.

stella69x Sat 09-Nov-13 22:19:43

I have had to introduce a bed time for my dss when he started staying over.

I did it gradually as dp was very much the Disney dad when we got together. Best part is the bedtime that was agreed ( albeit much later than I wanted for a 6 year old) was made earlier at the request of the child once rules were in place.

Side point, dh started working Eve's so I was in sole charge on weekend Eve's and I will not be entertaining children past 9pm did not do it with mine so my (softened) rules had to apply if I am in sole charge of an evening.

Beamur Sat 09-Nov-13 22:24:02

I'd also point out the various articles in the news recently about how lack of sleep (mostly due to having TV's computers etc in bedrooms) is affecting childrens performance at school. That time is too late, no wonder they are grumpy. 8pm or thereabouts is plenty late enough at that age.
You're doing those kids a favour by butting in.

princessalbert Mon 11-Nov-13 07:22:01

If they live with you then I say you do have a say in what happens, more so than if the DSS just came on the weekends.

Way too late in my opinion. If it were just a weekend one night staying up late then maybe okay, but for schoolnights then they should be getting much more sleep than that.

DS was a 7pm-7am sleeper until he was about8or 9. In fact it only started getting that bit later when he went to cubs which didn't finish until 7pm.

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