Spoilt stepdaughter

(8 Posts)
Bogwopit Sat 12-Oct-13 08:02:06

Eight weeks ago my stepdaughter , and her boyfriend came to live with myself and my husband , she is 21 and he is 27 , this was my idea so they could be nearer to family as they were 300 miles away from everybody , the plan was for them to stay 4- 6 months save up and rent a place locally , my husband is a very tidy person and when my son , who is 19 , comes home from uni he constantly moans if he leaves any mess anywhere , ( including a plate left in his room or a crisp packet or a hair in the bath ) he has never been very nice to him and it has caused a lot of rows between us , ( for example he would go into his bedroom look arpund tgen moan at me cause there was a pair of trousers on the floor ) when barbie and ken ( changed name !) came to stay he asssured me that this is how he is and he is like it with everybody .... Guess what no!!! Barbie can do whatever she wants her room is disgusting she has done 2 loads of laundry in 3 weeks !( which im pretty sure my husband did !) She informed that she doesnt really have to pay any keep , she leaves her stuff lying around everwhere , it has caused countless rows , i overheard her ken and my husband slagging me off behind my back , which caused another massive row , ive told her and ken theyve got till the end of the month to find somewhere to live , part of me feels bad cause it was me that invited them to stay but i do feel like my husband and her behaviour is the cause of this , i actually dont want to live in my own house at the moment and dont really know how im going to get through the next few weeks .... Any advice ?

UriGHOULer Sat 12-Oct-13 08:15:41

Wow. Seems to me the problem is with your husband. He's been slagging you off behind your back with Ken? And he is harsher with your son than with his daughter. I think you've been kind and patient allowing Barbie and Ken to stay, you should point this out in simple words to them all. Sounds like they've forgotten that you are there, perhaps fallen into old 'roles' of their former family dynamic.

Aroundtheworldandback Sat 12-Oct-13 08:45:01

You must feel like you have had a gesture from entirely goodwill thrown back in your face. Not many people would even entertain the thought of asking their dd/dsd's boyfriend to stay.

The fact that your husband is so obviously treating them differently to your son is completely not on but he must know this, whatever he says. That is going to cause more resentment on your part than the mess. You made a mistake. Get them out before it ruins your marriage completely.

GoshAnneGorilla Sat 12-Oct-13 08:47:43

Why are you with someone "who has never been very nice to" your son?

If he can't respect your child, he won't respect you.

basgetti Sat 12-Oct-13 09:27:07

He has never been very nice to your son, yet you stay with him. Poor kid.

Eliza22 Sat 12-Oct-13 09:36:11

He hasn't treated you or your son, very well.

I'm afraid I would never have been with this man in the first place. What a waste of years.

I'm so sorry. I'm unable to offer any advice beyond telling him to fuck right off and leaving. Let him, Barbie and Ken get on with it.

lunar1 Sat 12-Oct-13 10:09:52

Did your son have to live with this man who has never been very nice to him, or did you wait till he left home? Hopefully it was the latter.

I couldn't be with someone like him.

Mindmaps Tue 15-Oct-13 17:19:01

I would ask all 3 to leave

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