Concerned about DSD's behaviour

(3 Posts)
MatryoshkaDoll Fri 20-Sep-13 10:31:36

I posted this over in relationships as well, for the traffic. But it's always useful to get step parents' perspectives.

She was caught choking the family cat at her mum's house the other day. They got it as a kitten at the beginning of the year and by all accounts DSD torments the cat to the point where it's scared of her now and lashes out at her. She treats it like a toy and won't leave it alone when it's in the house. Constantly picking it up and manhandling it. I've seen her do it with other cats too. I believe it's done out of smothering affection rather than malice. Time and again we've had to explain to her that a cat is an animal, not a toy to be played with roughly. But it doesn't seem to be going in.

Anyway, this choking thing has really disturbed me as I'm pregnant with her sister and am worried she's going to be really smothering with the baby. She's already very tactile with the bump. Which I thought was cute at first but lately it feels a bit invasive and I find myself wanting to move away when she hones in on it. Sometimes she goes over the top and starts drumming on my tummy really hard and I have to tell her to stop and calm down.

I'm really sensitive to the fact that a new baby is going to disrupt things for her and she might just be playing up because she's a bit insecure, etc. But we're doing everything we can to involve her with the baby and I'm not sure what else we could or should be doing. She lives with us 50:50 btw, in case that's relevant.

I don't know what I'm asking really. This choking thing has really unnerved me. And since finding out, I feel a bit differently towards her. My instinct is to protect my baby and as ridiculous as it might sound, there's a little bit in the back of my mind that now sees her as a threat.

I don't like feeling like this. Anyone have any advice as to how we might tackle the behaviour? Have you ever experience the DSC behaving dangerously or aggressively towards your own DC and what did you do? And how I can sort my head out and stop feeling about DSD the way I do? I feel really uncomfortable.


MeteorShower Fri 20-Sep-13 10:36:04

How old is she?

MatryoshkaDoll Fri 20-Sep-13 10:37:27

Sorry, she's nearly six.

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