Just after some advice...

[Iridescentgloworm85]

Hi, I am long time lurker and found the situations on this thread familiar and comforting in a weird way (in a nice knowing I am not the only one way). I have a bizarre and unpleasant situation and I'm hoping someone might be able to suggest a course of action.

My partner has 2 children (girl aged 10, boy aged 7) - I don't have kids myself but I get on well with his. We normally have them every other weekend, although this can be withdrawn on a whim by their mother. We had them this weekend and still do as their mother, step father and half-sibling have all gone on holiday without letting us know in advance (found out last thing on Saturday night) leaving us to run around trying to sort out care. We both work and luckily have sorted out leave but it's the inconvenience and bare faced cheek of it - not to mention it was left for the children to tell us and she told them she needed a break from them which i think is such a hurtful thing to say.

There wouldn't have been an issue if we'd had some notice but this is just a joke. We only know vaguely where they have gone and have no contact details to get hold of them - partner normally only finds out if he's allowed them when he turns up at the door step as mum has changed number a while back. It's already been through court last year to get this contact in place but its not sticking and we can't afford to go back again. It's not an easy situation but we ignore most of the crap just for an easy life.

We feel like it needs reporting somehow as its not acceptable for anyone - the children seem ok but it must hurt. If anyone has any advice they can pass my way to how we can try and put a stop to this happening again, I'd be most appreciative.

Mum has form for being awkward like this in past, lots of examples of ridiculous situations we've been put in, but don't want to bore you all with them (be here all night).

Thanks

[RandomMess]

I really don't know but I would keep a record of every stunt she pulls completed with dats and any evidence.

You could go back to court and self-represent?

[ChinaCupsandSaucers]

First, I'd get this on record - as there is a residency/contact order in place, bizarre as it sounds, your DP could end up defending the fact that the DC's were in his care outside the Ordered contact time.

Call your local Social/Childrens Services Dept, give them the details of what has happened (including the fact that their Resident Parent cannot be contacted) and the details of the Court Order and ask for advice. As long as they are happy that the DC's are well cared for, they won't care about the Court Order - but it will provide evidence if your DP need it in the future. It will also create a Social Services footprint which will be added to if any other concerns are raised.

As for stopping it happening again - tricky one, as there isn't a clear reason for going back to court with this - but I would suggst that your DP engages with and seeks the support of as many agencies as possible to help him help his DC's as much as possible.

So, when the DC's go back to school, make sure that the staff are aware of what happened over the holidays and how they might be a bit unsettled/upset.

Contact the GP too, to ensure that the DC's aren't currently under any treatment - your DP can explain that he doesn't know, because Mum has gone away without notice.

[Iridescentgloworm85]

Thank you for the quick responses - I did consider social services but thought they might disregard because they are with a parent and it would be considered low-priority.

I appreciate the advice here's hoping what we do makes a difference!