I am a step child.

(8 Posts)
emilyeggs Mon 29-Jul-13 14:11:40

What a lovely thread, grin

brdgrl Mon 29-Jul-13 08:53:19

Alisvolatpropiis, needsomesun, needaholiday, noisytoys - thank you for posting. It is really nice to hear from some adult stepchildren, and doubly nice to hear positive acknowledgements of the role of stepparents in parenting children. x

deepfriedsage Sun 28-Jul-13 14:25:22

My stepdad is lovely. Knew his place, was more a friend than Dad character. Gets on with my Dad. Never caused trouble.

noisytoys Sun 28-Jul-13 14:19:06

My mum and dad split when I was 2, and my mum left, I lived with my dad.

Growing up I was nothing more to my birth mum than a child support bill she resented paying (she asked me to pay her back when I got my first job)

My dad married the most wonderful lady when I was 4 and she is my mum now and the best mum I could ever hope for smile

needaholidaynow Sun 28-Jul-13 13:58:38

Hi, I just want to share my experience of being a stepchild, and how it has shaped who I am really...

My mum and dad split when I was 11. My mum left my dad for her current partner, who is technically my stepdad. But I have never called him that, ever. He doesn't have any children of his own and he and my mum never had any children together. I have an older brother who is 8 years older than me, so he was a young adult at the time of the split.

At that time in the summer of 2001 my whole world changed in an instant. Me, my brother and mum and dad were all a very close family. I had a very happy life at home and felt very secure. I'll always remember that day towards the end of year 6 when my mum and dad sat me down and told me the news that they were splitting up. It was horrible. I was at an age where I was still young but yet old enough to grasp that this was a reality and my mum was moving in with another man the next day. Then not long later my brother was to go in to the army, and I was to start secondary school in September. So many changes at home as well as going to a new school; my dad feared I would be really really affected. We went from a family of 4 living in the house, to just me and my dad.

I didn't meet my mum's partner for about a year. Partly because my dad did not want him to meet me and partly because I did not want to meet him. I remained so loyal to my dad. We were both hurting a lot and every time
I saw him cry I would be there to comfort him and vice versa. At the time I was in to "Friends" and the theme song used to fit perfectly, and we'd sing it in the car smile I would reject offers from friends to go I sleepovers etc as I didn't want to leave my dad on his own.

I hated going to my mum's when her partner was there. I wanted to see my mum but not him. I was difficult and I didn't really make much effort with him. In my later teens I was able to make the decision where I went, but I did turn in to a brat. I spoke to everyone like crap, even my dad, and I look back and cringe. My stepdad tried so hard, did loads for me and I did throw it back in his face. It must have been awful for him. I hardly see him and my mum now.

BeesGoBuzzzzzz Sun 28-Jul-13 11:12:22

These posts were nice to read flowers!

NeedSomeSun142 Sun 28-Jul-13 01:48:31

I agree I was 13 when my dad introduced me to my step mum. and for about 5 years I honestly must of made her life a misery. now years later we get on fine and looking back I think bloody hell I was a cow!!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 28-Jul-13 00:25:22

I was 9 when my step dad became a part of my life. Nearly 10.

Initially I accepted it and was fine. Then my dad started making subtle comments that made me feel I couldn't like my mums new boyfriend and not be disloyal. I start acting out. My Mum and Step Dad persevered through this and got married when I was 12.

To my mind we became a proper family when I was 14.

Today at 24 I refer to my "three parents" and "all my parents". I would not be who I am today without my step dad. I love him dearly.

Step parenting is hard, I've been the difficult step child, I know.

The children of your partner will come around. I never though I would and yet here I am.

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