I know this is kind if a dead thread but it's relevant to what I'm going through,
I'm wanting to adopt my DSS, you have to get ex to agree which is something my DP's ex just will not do even tho she never wants to see DSS, she never calls or writes or sends birthday cards or anything and DSS has very few memories of being with her. Although it might be easier for you if he has expressed that he doesn't want a part in her upbringing. I suppose it depends on how spiteful the ex is. I hope everything went well. Any news on the adoption?
Ex would need to agree to it I think... does he have PR? It sounds like he may do that though, but remember that will mean that he will sign away all his rights, forever...
Another option could be to obtain PR for your DH? that would mean that he could deal with schools, drs etc and be tied to her forever in terms of responsibilities but might make it a bit more likely for ex to agree to it?
definitely not outside of the realms of possibility!!
Your situation is fairly similar to mine, but I was the dd. My stepfather (it sounds strange to call him that as he's always been my 'Dad' since I was very young) adopted me when I was an older child, I was involved in the discussions about it and was happy for it to go ahead. My father had to be asked and made no objections as far as I know. I'm glad it happened, I was always completely accepted by my Dad's family but it made it all official which as an insecure preteen made a lot of difference.
Firstly I have an active thread in relationships called "just received a text" which gives my story but to summarise:
My dd is 2.11 her father left when she was 2 weeks old, he's seen her 10times since, never overnight, last time in November then previously July. Never sent birthday or Xmas cards or presents. Never just called or texted to ask how she is. On Friday told me by text that he doesn't want to be part of dd's life anymore. I knew it all along but seeing it in black and white was a shock. Have screen printed said text.
I've been with dp since dd was 19mo, and we now own a house together. Through her own choice, dd calls dp Daddy. He is all she's ever known, he is constant, he loves her and looks after her. Dd never called ex Daddy, in fact he just spent the very few hours in his care in hysterical tears.
What are the chances of dp being able to adopt dd?