DP and I bought a house and moved in together last August. My DDs are 13 and 15 and his DD is 4, she spends half of school holidays here. My younger one spends 6 nights a fortnight with her dad but older one only one night a fortnight due to emotional abuse. there are court orders in place for all children.
Recently DD2 and DP's relationship has deteriorated. she is argumentative and untidy. She questions or moans every time we ask her to tidy her room and pick up the stuff she has left in a trail behind her. She complies in the end, but it's a battle. She admits that she does not particularly like having Dsd here, although at Xmas she made a fair effort to play with her and do things for her.
DP told me last night that he knows I'm torn between them and worries that our relationship will be damaged, or even end, because of the conflict between him and DD2. We agreed that she needs to change her behaviour and he wants her to make an effort as he has had enough. He was stepdad with his DD's mum's other kids and one of hers was a nightmare, refused to talk to him, wouldn't do anything he asked and life there became utterly miserable. I feel that this is affecting his interpretation of the present situation.
DD2 is now at her dad's for two nights and I hope when she gets back we can start getting back to normal. I don't want to lose either of them.