amazing step mum!

(17 Posts)
NigellaLawless Thu 28-Mar-13 12:13:09

This has really made me smile. thanks OP for such a lovely thread thanks

dignifiedsilence Thu 28-Mar-13 07:57:19

Yes mouseymummy you can read my other threads for further info. It was like I was the wicked witch of the west the minute I entered the scene and I have never so much as opened my mouth. The really sad thing is one of her teenage children has been heard to say that her mum and my OH were together 5 years when it was only 6 months!! This said child has the odd dig at my DD the same age through social networking from time to time. My car used to get trashed every once in a while. It seems to be they don't do enough for us to be able to to do anything about it iyswim. She is very good at what she does unfortunately.

theredhen Thu 28-Mar-13 07:53:15

What a lovely, refreshing post. grin

Thanks for posting and showing that not all us "birth" mums are monsters any more than all step mums being wicked.

Welovegrapes Thu 28-Mar-13 07:24:00

Lovely thread!

My sil is another sm with a good relationship with her dh's ex - so nice to see. They all have tea together and play board games with the dc at pickup. My sil is particularly impressed that the dm always backs up sm and her ex about any discipline on the rare times when the dc are naughty. There is no playing people off against each other!

billingtonssugar Thu 28-Mar-13 07:13:16

My dds stepmum is awesome too, you sometimes wonder what they see in our exs don't you!!!

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Thu 28-Mar-13 06:32:49

What a lovely op! Sounds like a very mature relationship. Your dd is a lucky girl.

Weareanormalfamily Thu 28-Mar-13 06:29:00

Hi OP, thanks for thread.
Although I sometimes feel I could implode at the absurdity of dh exw actions, I feel like you about the sm in my ds life.
She has known him since he was 7, which is about half his life, and has always supported me, looked after ds really well and yes, we are friendly more than civil. She also agrees with me on how I raise ds, against ds dads wishes (again like your exh). I could return the massive favour as she was unwell recently and needed some emotional backing. I was really touched she turned to me for support.
Btw, ds thanks me often for being able to have an untroubled relationship with her, especially when he witnesses the shenanigans happening to step siblings.

I am a step mum to a lovely 5 year old girl, and I wish I had the same sort of relationship with her mum but for some reason she just won't even acknowledge me. Me and my DH have been together almost 4 years and he had split with his ex months before we met, so not like he left her for me or anything.

I have tried to speak to her, I treat my step daughter like she's my own and make an effort but I just dont know what else to do. I wish we could at least be civil. So you are so lucky to have this!

mouseymummy Wed 27-Mar-13 18:16:34

Mrs, I'm not sure I could go on holiday with them, not because of her but the ex!! A couple of hours is about all I can stand of him!! (we only see each other every other weekend atm so it works for us!!)

Dignified, I don't know what's happened with your dsc's mum, from your wording I'm guessing something pretty severe!

MrsExcited Wed 27-Mar-13 18:09:41

Love this, I am a step mum its nice not to be the evil one sometimes

I have (i think) a good relationship with DHs x hmm since 6 months into the relationship we have been friendly, that moved towards almost actively being friends, to being more distant now she has entered into a more active new relationship.

We do things as a family quite often, i have spent every Christmas day with her for the last 7 years. At my Mils, mine and my mothers house!

Think the oddest one for me is we have been to Euro Disney as a family!

Think the best way to describe it is we have accepted the fact that through limited choice we are bound to DSDs for the next xx years (forever) and it is nicer to be friendlier than civil.

I am sure there are many out there for whom this isn't possible due to things said and done, but i for one am glad that we are where we are!

mouseymummy Wed 27-Mar-13 18:05:25

I've tried my best, luckily she's pretty easy to get along with!

I wish everyone could have a relationship like ours, I've tried my hardest to keep up the relationship between my ex and myself for dd's sake, obviously that now involves her too.

I have to admit I was slightly gutted when dd labelled dsm as her hero and not me!! grin

dignifiedsilence Wed 27-Mar-13 17:55:28

BRILLIANT!! I am so pleased for you and how wonderful for your child. smile

I would like this type of relationship with my DSC mum but no chance on her part and no chance from me now not after what she has done. So just wanted to say I am so glad smile

milkymocha Wed 27-Mar-13 17:45:23

How refreshing to read! My dad & stepdad get on well too and it makes life lots easier on my part as i dont feel torn between 2 families! smile

Nicknamenotavailableeither Wed 27-Mar-13 17:43:23

How lovely to hear this! smile Your dd is a lucky little girl.

Lilypad34 Wed 27-Mar-13 17:40:13

What a lovely thing to post! it's so nice to know that step mums and mums can get along!

N0tinmylife Wed 27-Mar-13 17:33:24

That is lovely! It is so refreshing to hear about people who can act like grownups, and get along. Your DD is a lucky girl!

mouseymummy Wed 27-Mar-13 17:29:36

Can I just praise my dd's dsm. She's amazing!!

My and dd's dad broke up when she was 3mo. Sleep deprivation and the relationship just didn't match. We have managed to stay reasonably civil and 4 yrs ago the step mum was introduced to dd.

She's stopped the Disney parenting on the dads side and has helped me out by telling him when he needs to step up and has helped back me up (much to his annoyance!!)

Dd adores her and she has been simply amazing! She's helpedme so much and has been an amazing influence in dd's life!

As dd has 2 parents evenings I attend one and they attend the second. They have attended this evening and the teacher has gone through the issues dd is having and dsm has backed me fully regarding tests that need to be carried out!

I've also given them a heads up that I'm expecting again (I have suspicious that they have been TTC without luck.) and after dropping dd off on Sunday eve she has bought a beautiful set for the new baby. I'm so touched at her generosity and kindness she has shown.

I've posted this as I want to show that step parents can have a decent relationship. I know it's pretty difficult in some circumstances but I have so much respect for her and trust her implicitly with dd and know she will do everything in her powerto make the relationship between her and dd work!!

Thank you step mums and dads, it's not easy but you all do a great job!!

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