DP is trying to secure support for his DCs who are resident (by court order) with their mum where they have caring responsibilities for their elderly, disabled grandmother. She stays at their house and 'looks after' them when their mum is at work during week and the DSC regularly go and stay with her at her house at weekends.
Their mum refuses to engage with either DP or professionals and denies it is happening; saying that their grandmother only stays occasionally - which contradicts what the DSC say about when their Mum is working and how often grandma stays; they say it's often 3/4 nights in a row and that some weekends they stay at grandmas and don't see their Mum at all. DSD is particularly aggrieved as she has to give up her bedroom when her grandma stays and she often complains about it! DP has to call the DSC at their grandmas on weekends, so we know at least some of what they are saying is true.
DSD has been told she can't see her Dad or socialise when Grandma is alone with the DSC as DSD needs to 'help grandma'. Her mobility is limited and she struggles with the stairs at the DSC house, she relies on the DCs to help her in the kitchen and she isn't up and about when the DSC go to school because she takes a long time to get up/dressed etc in the mornings.
DP is particularly concerned as DSD is leaving home soon and DSS is only 9 - its a big responsibility for him to shoulder alone