Dear wise folk of Mumsnet Any help much appreciated! I am mum to DD(4) and have been with DP since DD was about 15 months old. DD has regular fortnightly contact with her father who lives away. He comes back to this area for the weekend and stays at his mum's house. He's re-married and has twins, but his wife and kids don't come with him for various (irrelevant) reasons. We all get on fine and her father is very supportive of DP. DP is nothing other than kind and affectionate to DD but increasingly over the last several months her behaviour towards him has been awful, telling him she wants to throw him out of the window and for him never to come back, ignoring him when he speaks to her, refusing to sit next to him and so on. When he's not around she asks for him, says she misses him etc but I'm getting to the end of my tether. I don't know what else to do - we're doing a reward scheme with happy and sad faces for when she does kind/unkind things, but if anyone has any suggestions for ways to positively enhance their relationship I'd love to hear them! She doesn't want him to do things with her unless it's a last resort and mummy won't get out of bed. We're getting married in September and I so want us to be a happy family!
Do you think the impending wedding has anything to do with her behaviour toward him? When her Dad got married, he had two more children, could she be worried that you and your DP are going to have lots of new children too?
Thank you! It's good to know it's not just the step parent who gets it!!
I don't think it's the wedding - her dad had the twins before they got married. And she's excited about being a bridesmaid. It's just so upsetting that she's so unkind when he's nothing but lovely to her!
Maybe she is being like this because "he's nothing but lovely to her". Is he scared of disciplining her or letting her know he's upset. She may be pushing the boundaries to test him. If he's always "nice" then it's perhaps a rather "false situation" and she needs to know that you are all part of this new family - and that doesn't mean being nice all the time. Hope this makes sense!
Agree with pepper, my DSS at four was a bit of a pain and could be quite hurtful as it was new then i let it go, but after around six months I pulled him up on it, wasn't quite so nice when he was deliberately being nasty etc. he's now14 and we devoured the big box of chocs together that he got me for mothers day and I love him to bits.