I have a 17 year old stepson. Me and his dad have a daughter who is 4 month old.
My parents have invited me, OH and Sophia on holiday in June abroad. They have offered to pay.
My parents have never met my stepson and my OH isn't close to my parents and doesn't really make an effort with them.
Anyway my OH is expecting his son to come along, without asking my parents first. I have suggested to my OH that it would be best if the 4 of us do something together in august or if he wants to just OH and his son go away if they would rather do man stuff with stepson being 17.
Anyway this has gone down like a lead balloon and it isn't good enough, he wants his son to come away with my parents. This is a villa in the middle of nowhere, he won't have a TV, Internet etc. He is moody at the best of times (like your average teenager really) and I don't see why my parents should have to holiday with a sulky, bored and moody teenager they have never met.
I think it is a question of considering him. He has step grandparents who don't appear to have anything to do with him - not to even sending a birthday card. It certainly doesn't seem to have crossed their mind that their DD is a family of 4.
Have you spoken to your parents about your wants his son to come? Have you spoken to your DSS about if he wants to come or not? I really don't see the problem if he wants to come. I mean he is family. You obviously knew your OH had a son when you met. It's a package deal really.
If your parents have a problem because they would have to pay for him - couldn't you and OH pay his share so he's included?