My dp provides 3 contract mobiles for the 3 kids he lives with / has contact with.
He is supposed to have court ordered phone access 2/3 times a week depending on access that week on set days at set times.
However it's rare that he ever gets through. He is supposed to phone the nine year olds phone but it is often switched off or just rings. The court has said that dp ex is to encourage kids to call back if they miss the call, they rarely do.
Eldest dsd sends thousands of texts every month but when dp texts her, she doesn't respond.
Youngest dsd is sooo particular about texting her mum when she is here and is always super organised and makes sure phone is charged up whilst here and carries it with her everywhere. If she forgets to send a goodnight text to mum, she gets quite upset. We've had complaints from dp ex and her family that dsd was distressed one night because we told her to go to sleep and not to keep getting out of bed, but apparently she wanted to text mum (she didn't tell us at the time).
Dp pays out a lot of money every month for these phones but just accepts that the kids use them to keep in contact with their mum but not him.
It's just another example of how his kids constantly say and show that they think their dad is irrelevant. They treat him as if they see him a few times a year and yet they live with us a third of the time and we pay for most of what they have as well as maintenance.
Both of us have tried talking to the kids. I've even asked them outright if they don't want to speak to their dad or if its awkward to do so at mums house. They just clam up and shrug their shoulders and the eldest says she does want to speak to her dad but is "too busy" at mums to respond. She manages to respond to all her friends four thousand times over mind you!
Personally I think dp should remind them who pays for their phones and that some courtesy wouldn't go amiss. He won't though.
I try and detach but every time he tries to phone, I feel myself getting frustrated.
I also feel very annoyed when eldest dsd is constantly on her phone when she's here and youngest dsd is insisting on texting her mum.
Anyone else had similar experiences and how do you deal with it?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice.
Step-parenting
Phone contact and detaching
17 replies
theredhen · 18/02/2013 19:36
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.