Mumsnet Talk

I have seen mentioned on another thread that step parents can't take step children to the doctors. I would ask on the other thread but ir is very fast moving.

On occasion, dp has taken one or the other of my dc to the ooh or drop in . This is because he drives and I don't so it makes sense for him to go and me stay home with the other dc.

Dc's father would not be interested in raking them, he is only an active parent between 10-6 on a Sunday.

Are we doing something wrong here? I never even considered it. We are unmarried but have lived together for 2 years. If it is a scheduled appointment at the normal gp (so notice) I would take them.

The other thread (which I assume you mean) was my thread.

I take my DSC to the GP if their dad (my DP) is not available. I have never thought anything of it. My DP has also taken my DD to the GP (and dentist recently) if I have been unavailable. I don't really think it matters who takes them as long as it is someone that knows their medical history / allergies / about their vaccinations etc and is someone who cares for them enough to love and comfort them if they are feeling poorly. We have lived together unmarried (like you) for 2 years and been together for about 3.5 yrs.

It is not always practical for DP to take time off work for a check up or a non urgent GP appointment, as it is not always possible for him to take time off work to be at home very single time either one of them has a cough or cold. I work flexi hours from home so much easier for me and the DSC are perfectly comfortable with me comforting them, bringing drinks, cuddles etc if they are at home off sick from school feeling poorly.

Obviously, anything urgent, serious, emergency etc DP would be the one taking them.

Thanks beary, it was indeed your thread I was referring to.

I am glad its not just us doing it then, I had never even considered it to be an issue until I saw your thread.

Legally, its a grey area - especially for vaccinations where some GPs are asking for both parents consent even if they are still together.

If a parent with PR challenged the treatment agreed by a step-parent, the GP could face a legal case and the step-parent could be accused of assault.
Even if your DPs have given permission in advance, unless they were actually there, they dont know what the Dr has said so cannot give informed consent. A parent cannot delegate their PR and can still be held accountable.

In cases where there are hostilities, its best to avoid it, imo!

I have to say, I consider this a 'private' issue between my children, myself and my ex and whilst I don't have any real objections, I would be concerned that a step parent may not make the same choices as I would, or my ex for that matter. And certainly, as the step parent is one removed from me, I don't have a real handle on who they are, what they think, what their influences are which can lead to a very different approach to health over issues such as injections.

If my ex asked 'permission' for his girlfriend to take the children to the GP because neither of us could, it would be fine. But if he did it without my knowledge in any case except an emergency, we would be having words.

I've often taken my DH's children to appointments if they are staying with us. And as one lives with us now, I take him too (it's easier for me to be flexible in my working hours than it is for my husband). In my book, as long as my DSCs nad their dad (my husband) are happy with the arrangement, then that's all that matters.

I am glad we're not the only ones that do this. I was worried after the other thread.

assuming, of course, ladydeedy, that your partner takes his responsibilities towards his ex seriously and keeps her updated on health and education issues regarding their child as 'parental responsibility' requires?

My dh has taken dds to dentist , hasnt to Drs but more cos they don't need to go rather than I wouldn't

I was always the one taking DSD to the doctors, dentist, hospital appointments etc. But I suppose slightly different because she lived with us and I was her primary carer, (DH at work). It would never have worked if DH had had to take time off work for every appointment she had.