Friend has DS8 and DD13. Currently residence is 50/50 (no court order) between her and ex. They both live in the same town.
4 years ago, friend started a relationship with a divorced man in same town, with kids of his own who lived primarily with their mother. After 2 years said mother moved across the country, taking kids with her. Friend's DP followed and started a new life in this new town to remain close to his kids.
Friend and her DP have continued their relationship long distance over last two years. But friend has recently decided that she is going to move this year or next to be with man. From where she and kids live now, its a 2.5 hour train journey or a 4.5 hour drive away. She announced her intentions to her ex over Christmas and he basically hung up without comment.
50/50 will thereon be impossible of course. She says her daughter will have the choice of whether to stay with father or move with mother, but she expects her DS8 to go with her. Of course it may come down to the courts.
Her family have all told her she is being selfish and is a bad mother for even considering making this move. That she should either continue her relationship long distance, or break up with the man, rather than 'sacrifice' her children. She is defiant, but I can see underneath she is looking for reassurance and validation. I just don't know if I can give it to her...
What do you think? I'm afraid my gut agrees with her family (not without sympathy for her predicament though), but then I thought maybe there are other perspectives I haven't considered. Have been withholding comment thus far one way or the other, but I can see that before too long I'll have to weigh in somehow. Anyone have any words of wisdom or experience in situations like these?
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looking for perspectives re: cross-country move...
24 replies
eslteacher · 04/01/2013 16:23
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