dh and i have had dss since fri morning due to go back at 10 am this morning. dh exp then rang to say she was going out could we have dss for the night, dh agreed but said she would have to pick him up at 10 am as we have plans. well this was not got enough she says she will get him when she is ready to get him?! dh is agreeing to this because he would rather dss was with us for as long as poss anyways ... furious cannot explain it!!! am i being selfish ? we are due to get dss back on wednesday to saturday! feel like a bloody babysitter jumping to her needs and demands at all time !! someone give me some words of wisdom because i am sick of this ! we have a life too!
"You get f* all sympathy on mumsnet - really pisses me off how non step parents come on and slate you. Did you not know you arent allowed to ever make plans on your non contact days. You must be on call constantly to the other parents whims and demands and if you moan you are a shit parent."
Er No - you are on call with your DP 24/7 365 days of the year for the child. That transcends contact days, access arrangements etc - you do not stop being a parent on the days that you do not have the steps.
As I said to my twunt and his DP at Xmas, they are your problem 365 days of the year, like they are mine. Shame you have only had them around or seen for 30 days and most of that for 3 hrs at a time. When they are sick they are our problem, when they are well, they are our problem, when you are sick they are our problem, when I am sick they are our problem - parenting does not stop at set times, something all parents step or birth need to remember.
I did read the OP properly, hence why I quotes some other posters ignorant comment.
I agree it is annoying when arrangements get changed all the time - both sides but that is what happens when you have kids step or otherwise. We all have a right to a life. My DCs cry when they have to go to her house - none of their toys or clothes are allowed to stay their, arrangements get changed at the drop of a hat for when her DCs are with her Ex and having mine aorund interferes with some child free time. I do understand it from both sides
EMS23 suggest you stop being so patronising and read who I quoted. Does not change the fact kids mess all the best laid plans- hence why I am sitting on the laptop with a hugely snotty, coughing hot child who should have been with Dad but his new partner does not want her kids to get it, so access arrangements are changed at the last minute and my right to a life has just gone out the window too.;
I suggest you dont bring your personal grievances to this thread.
I stand by my original comments. If you arent willing to be stand on your head if requested by stepchilds other parent you get slated on her.
And no im not going to be on call 24/7 for my stepchildren. My partner is but im not and until their mother is able to be less toxic towards me i wont ever shift heaven and earth to accomadate her demands.