I just need to be reminded that step parents can be very lovely and positive people in their SDC's lives. There is a long back story that some of you may have seen but in brief my ex and his partner were having an affair, during which time I fell pregnant with DS2. DS2 is now 6months old and the OW ex's DP is spending time with both my DC. I am finding it particularly hard to cope with the hurt, as this is almost a year to the day I discovered STBXH was cheating and he left me for her.
I know my DC are far too young to care or know about the dynamics of the adults relationships, and I don't talk to them about it. I am positive about their time with their dad but he doesn't make it easy for me at all, he's very uncommunicative, lies about where they are/what they have done, and has 'forbidden' his partner to meet me, which makes it all the more awkward for everyone over the age of 2 as she hides in the house at handovers because she's 'not allowed' outside when I'm there. To me, it all adds up to me feeling like the boogy monster is inside (or that I'm supposed to be the boogy monster myself!) I wish it were different but due to my ex behaving like an idiot it doesn't seem likely that we will all be able to speak normally to each other anytime soon.
Anyway, getting to the point - This weekend my 2yo DS1 announced that he loved ex's new DP. My heart nearly broke when he said it, but I know I need to be glad that he is having fun when he is with them. I am posting this here and not in relationships because I would really like to hear from actual step parents that these things get easier and everyone heals. I don't need to be reminded that my ex is a total idiot (I know that he is). I just wish I could understand things from his DP's P.O.V. I don't understand why she goes along with hiding from me, or lying about being there when my DC are with him, or any of the other frankly crazy unnecessary things they do.
As a disclaimer, in NO WAY do I think that every step parent was an OW and I am not asking specifically for anyone to tell me that they were and it's all been fine. I just mean in general, it would help me to hear some positive stories about sharing the children and helping them be positive about the new people in their lives, to remind me that it gets easier. Also some advice on getting past this ludicrous stage where we all have to pretend I'm too unstable to meet her would be good?
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Step-parenting
please be gentle with me, feeling pretty low
15 replies
chocoreturns · 29/12/2012 22:20
OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom ·
29/12/2012 23:34
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