advise needed on helping dh

[steppyhen]

Hi mumsnet advise needed!

dh and i have dss 3yr old 3 nights a week. whilst dss is not with us he is either at dh mums or dh brothers at any given chance. dss mum is involved with a man who is has just come off tag for violence and could not leave his house after 7pm so dss has been staying their on a blow up bed the nights he is with his mum, and crying to us that he want to stay at his mums house.

to cut a long story short dss mum and new partner have both got a criminal record for violence, and dh husband does not feel the dss sons best intrests are being put first.

so the s**t has hit the pan , we are due to have dss on xmas eve at tea time till 3pm xmas day. dss mum text asking can she come collect dss at 12 midday instead of 3pm, dh said no as we changed all our xmas plans to suit her, anyways today dh got a taxt asking if we had plans on boxing day (she was going to celebrate dss xmas day on boxing day give pressents and meal etc) husband replied yes why ? her reply was cos she wanted to go out ? is she mental ? does she not wanting time at xmas with her son? am i being crazy ? dh is very distraught and i cant say or do anything to help ! dh is very down, are we just thinking the worst all the time? dh thinks dss would be better off with us, i feel so sorry for dh and helpless . please dnt be nasty!