What should I make of this? And do I tell DP?

[PoppyPrincess]

On Thursday night/early hours of fri morn I got up to feed baby and when I was getting back in bed I noticed bright headlights outside our house. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac so the car was directly facing the house. Most of our neighbours are elderly so it seemed strange so I looked outside to see what was going on and the car reversed straight out. DP's ex has got a very distinctive car and I thought it looks like hers but dismissed it thinking 'but she's got no reason to be outside our house'.

But then last night DS had a temp so i went to 24hr tesco for more calpol and when I got home she was sat outside our house again, she saw me and drove off.
She knows that I saw her, our eyes met as our cars passed.

I just don't know what to make of it, I'm confused, what's she trying to achieve or find out by sitting outside our house?
The other issue is who is looking after the kids whilst she's driving around in the early hours of the morning?

I've not mentioned anything to DP yet, he's still in bed at the mo. but I don't even know if I want to say anything...I'm not even sure why I don't...I suppose I just can't me bothered with another drama!

[nurseneedshelp]

I think you need to say something! It's not normal, she doesn't need to be there!
I would find it freaky, deffo tell him....

[ohfunnyface]

You need to say something- this is very strange and worrying behaviour and it sounds like she might need some serious support or intervention from family.

Good luck- must be really scary and disconcerting.

[EggNogRules]

Where was your step child(ren)?

[Xalla]

Oh dear God! I think I would tell your DH if you want to do anything about it that is. Better the confrontation come from him than you.

If you're happy for her to sit there staring at your house, then I guess you could just wait for him to spot her himself!?! I can understand you not wanting another drama. You've got enough going on!

Poor you. That's awful. Especially if the kids weren't even with you.

[PoppyPrincess]

I don't know, I can only assume that they were at home in bed, she does have a boyfriend but if he was staying over I can't imagine her leaving him to spy on the ex.
Last night there's a possibility they were at their grandma's with it being a Friday and I did see grandma picking them up from school yesterday (my DS is at their school, I don't spy on them!)

[PoppyPrincess]

The thing is I know if I tell DP and he speaks to her she's just going to deny it and then it's my word against hers. I know DP will believe me but I don't know....I just be arsed with her I suppose.
Hopefully now that she's been spotted she won't be doing it again

[TheOneWithTheHair]

I think you need to write down dates and times so you have a record and also discuss with your dp.

I understand that you don't need another drama but this is not normal and is worrying.

[Xalla]

Yeah I agree with the above. If you can take pics I guess

[NotaDisneyMum]

I'd give your local neighbourhood police officer a ring - let them know you're a bit concerned and they'll probably do a couple of late-night drive bys; which should deter her!

[HKnight]

Poppy, that behaviour is not normal coupled with what you said before (following you into AE?) Please do not ignore this. My ex-bF did crazy stuff which I ignored but the longer you leave it the worse they become.

Go to your police station, explain everything not just this but the whole lot. Tell them you don't know who was looking after the children while she was STALKING you.

To charge someone with harrasment they need to see that you asked them to stop harrassing you and then need proof they ignored it. Text messages, emails, anything like that.

In my case the police asked if I wanted to press charges or have ex BF sign a document to say if he ever made contact again then he would be charged. That document stopped him straight away.

You need to think of the children, your baby and yourself. This woman perceives you as a threat to her contact and control over your DP. Don't let her get more crazy and report this for her sake and the children. Maybe police will just have a word and then she might back off.

Please get your DP to mention it to the solicitor too.

Good luck xx

[PoppyPrincess]

I've still not said anything to DP, I want to but he had some sad news yesterday so it didn't seem right and then today we've hardly seen each other and he still seems upset.

He's taking some time off work this week so I will talk to him then. I know I need to tell him or else he'll be upset that I didn't tell him when it eventually comes out.

[lisad123]

You have to tell him, but only you know when is right.

[ChippingInAWinterWonderland]

What HKnight said!! (well, except I didn't do what she did, but I would if I had to).

Sorry about DP's bad news :( Definitely tell him soon though.

[PoppyPrincess]

Yeh the more I've been thinking about it the more it bothers me, at first I was just trying to make sense of it but now I've realise there was nothing for her to see or check on. At 2am we are clearly going to be in bed!
Her and DP aren't really speaking at the mo so it's not that she was trying to verify anything he's told her.
The more I think about it the more I realise she must be a total nutter! And it's making me wonder how long she's been doing it and whether she's still doing it.
There's said a few things lately that she's said that have made us think 'what? Have you lost the plot?!' But then just shrugged it off because we are hoping to sort things through solicitors but now this has happened it's making me think maybe she is actually losing the plot!

[Beamur]

You really must tell him.

[olibeansmummy]

Just to add to what the others have said, can you set up a video camera to record out of the window at night? That would give you hard evidence. Would an I phone record for that long if left on charge if you have one?