Help!!! Its getting bigger and bigger. I was going to namechange, but you know, on some level I don't really care.
Two DSD's lets call them Julie 21 and Mary 26. I have my own DD who is 3.
I have know them for 5 years. I was not in anyway involved in the breakup of DH's and ex's marriage. We met later.
Before I go any further, I feel that most of what I say is actually my own fault.
When I had DD it became apparent very quickly that we could not afford to support two houses, therefore, it was agreed that ex would move out and we would move in. After which we would have both girls and my daughter living with us. Eldest was 23 and youngest 18. As you can imagine, it has not been easy. I have bent over backwards, redecorated bedrooms. When Mary moved out spent alot of money on furniture for her. When Julie went to Uni, set her up too.
Lots and lots of other things. I have always defended them to the hilt, when DH's family call them selfish and spoilt. When they have had presents and cards and never even said a thank you. Have made excuses for them, you know, "they are busy, etc etc"
I even found out about a shit nickname they have for me, but chose to ignore it.
Julie has been home, and not visited us, stayed with her sister, the one who lives near us never visits. When she does come home, never even washed a cup, washed the bath out, anything.
It was my DD's B/d and they never even sent her a card. I had to lie to her and pretend one of the ones on the shelf was from Julie and Mary when she asked.
This I think was the straw which broke the camels back! I just feel manipulated and used. And angry with myself for letting this happen (guilt).
I am a softy, but want to toughen up.
Now, I have had a message saying "will be home from uni next weekend". And then have seen a message flying around between them both about Julie's boyfriend also coming up (to stay here of course). And organising their social life.
My DH now has to be up at 5.30am. We have just got DD to sleep through the night in her own bed, and I work most nights now. I am bloody dreading having her/them here. I usually spend an age tidying and cleaning her room, and making it all nice. Haven't this time. it hasn't been touched since she left in september, clothes and rubbish everywhere.
I have told my DH its up to HIM to make a stand here. They have made it perfectly clear how much they respect me.
Don't want her boyfriend here.
If she goes out and isn't back at 11, stay at your friends/sisters/mums - she has a spare room.
Oh and thanks for not getting DD a card - thats SHIT.
I know this isn't AIBU, but I need to rant I think, reassurance that I do need to toughen up - they aren't babies.
Just had enough.
Help me be reasonable/I don't want to back down, as thats what I usually do, and I think they know me well enough to know this.
Sorry its so long.
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Step-parenting
Resentment towards adult DSD's
12 replies
TantrumsandBananas · 06/12/2012 16:19
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