DSD and eating...

(2 Posts)
pingusmumtoo Thu 15-Nov-12 11:31:35

First post on this board so I'll try to keep it short and clear.
DSD (9) has always been a bit of a finicky eater and I'm sure it's the control thing - the poor kid gets pillar to posted by her mummy all the time, the most recent upheaval being moving them to her home country for a year as her mum (DSD's grandma) is at end stages of a terminal illness. They came back after 3 weeks because (according to her mum) DSD hadn't settled. So I'm far from surprised to see over the last two weekends her eating issue is back with avengance - I only cook things I know she likes but last weekend she was literally taking bites about equivalent to half a teaspoon and gutting imaginary fat out of every piece of roast gammon. I did (and probably shouldn't have) say tvsomething- but along the lines of her body needing more fuel and that it was tricky tickling someone who was so bony.
You can pretty much see every rib and every vertebrate on her little body and it worries me sick.
The other issue we have is DS (4) is not the world's greatest eater - partly I'm sure due to him watching his much adored big sister refuse to eat most things when he was younger and I really don't want him picking up more 'bad' habits.
So DP has had a text from his ex saying that he must tell me not to make an issue of it and just leave DSD to it - not us but me specifically - his ex hates me would be an understatement.
I said my house, my rules and she needs to eat her food without nagging or taking hours - DP then says well we need to work on DS eating better - I point out he probably has his issues because of watching DSD already and DP does the usual and says so it's all DSD'S fault then is it... No it's the situation and her mother's... but apparently I'm being unreasonable and as usual he ignores all his ex's responsibility in his daughter's issues and it becomes my fault because I don't like her - which is utter nonsense.
So how do I handle this ? I am so sick of the over-compensating he does because his ex is not making a secure happy home for their daughter and the complete lack of ability on his part to separate DSD the lovely little girl from DSD the situation

goralka Thu 15-Nov-12 11:34:41

not sure - all I am picking up here is an intense dislike of his ex.

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