DSD is 15 (16 next June). She is generally a good kid - mature and reasonably sensible. She's reached an age when she's decided she doesn't like going on family holidays - either with us or with her mum. Her mum has booked to take them all away for a week at Easter and DSD has said she's not going, so her mum has said she can stay home on her own for a week. A week, when she is still only 15. This doesn't sound OK to me or DP - but what can he do about it? We could offer to have her here but she'd need to be told that she couldn't just decide to head off to her mum's and stay there whenever she wants.
She's also kicking up a fuss about going on any holidays next summer (when she will be 16) and is saying she will stay home alone. DP has said she's too young to stay here for a week when we're away, but her mum says she can't have her (as she's going away). But her mum seems to think it's OK for her to stay home alone for the whole time...
I don't know what I'm doing with teenagers. Mine are younger, and do what I tell them still! What do you do about this sort of thing? DSD is given a lot of independence generally, but this is too far, surely?
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DSD (15) staying home alone
purpleroses · 03/11/2012 15:07
Ooh, I don't know... At 16 I had a job and rented a house so to me it's no big deal. It all depends on the child but I would say at 15 a week at home, with Dad on call and able to check on her. Maybe with a mid-week dinner at yours should be okay.
I used to stay at home alone for weekends at 15. Not weeks... But I don't think mum ever went away for weeks anyway. I was made to go in a family holiday at 14, like redhen says, we didn't really get a choice all the time we were under Mums roof. Maybe that's why I moved out at 16 
My personal view.
Yes, I've seen that with my niece too. A choice of two lots of parents and in my niece's case, 3 lots of grandparents as dsis's ILs also count as grandparents. But 15 is really too young to call all the shots and she shouldn't impinge on her Mum's right to have a break either.
Although, having just brought the boys away and having to put up the occasional sulk from ds1 when he wanted to come, I don't know if I'd want him along if he'd resisted!
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Why , though, would the almost 16 year-old want to be a week all on her own? - allegedly so that she can revise for her GCSEs - but tbh I don't belive that for a second. She could take her books, etc with her and her mum has made it quite clear she can opt out of a few daytrips if she needs to revise. I suspect her mum doesn't believe her reasons either - I think she probably said she could stay on her own in the heat of the moment in a row - feeling hurt and resentful that her DD was throwing the chance of a nice holiday in her face. But DSD has clung onto it as proof that she is now old enough - in her mum's eyes - to be left alone.
I think her reasons are more to do with prioritising her social life - she doesn't like to be away from her friends and boyfriend. A week on her own would mean a week of staying out wherever she likes (eg the park, in the dark 
), until whatever time she likes, having whoever she likes round the house, etc.
I used to go off on working holidays from 16 on my own or with a friend. I had a great time and enjoyed the freedom, but actually I think you're right brdgrl - staying at home on your own is a different kind of previlege - and a lot more potential for trouble from parties getting out of control, etc.
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