Mumsnet Talk

So dh is just back in touch with his sons after nine years.

Absence was not due to dh.

Anyway dss who is just 17 wants to come for Christmas Day which is wonderful.

It will be dh's first Christmas day with him since he was 3.

Dh and i have two dds 9 and 6. They have big christmas sacks with their names on, i always go a bit overboard at Christmas so they have lots of presents, we love Christmas.

If dss had always been with us he would have his own sack and would have been spoilt every year.

As he hasn't though i want to buy him a sack (with his name on) and fill it with presents so he feels like he's treated the same as our dds.

Am i being daft, will he be a bit at a sack, i know if it was a normal situation he would be, i just want him to be one of the family and feel included.

Would it be nice or am i being daft?

It would be nice, he might think you are daft but it would be in a nice way, - make a bit of a laugh about it.

How lovely

I agree and much better that he thinks you're a bit daft than have left him out.

As long as you make sure the gifts are mainly good for his age I'm sure he'll love it.

I think that would be a lovely thing to do. He will feel an equal.

That is exactly what you should do.

I think it's lovely and you sound like a great step mum. Have a fantastic first Christmas together.

what about the other boy who is not coming? don't leave him out!

Oh thank you so much, i was really hoping someone would say it was a good idea, even if daft.

I would much rather him think i am mad for doing it him feel in some way inferior to our children.

And thank you ecuse i am trying my very best, we had a great relationship when he was little, it's harder to get that back now he is a teenager as i can't just tickle him!

I just want him to have the best christmas with his dad and his sisters.

Thanks again.

No the other son is older and won't be coming, his choice.

I will make him a big hamper with presents in and send it back with his brother.

He knows he is more than welcome but his relationship with dh is moving a bit more slowly.

Totally daft but totally lovely

Thanks!

I have an 18 yr old DSS, and I still put his presents in a Santa stocking. It makes him smile!

He's getting a sack with his name on, like it or not!!

That's lovely

My stepmum never made me feel welcome and it eventually affected my relationship with my dad. The stocking is a great idea.

Aw, how lovely

Thank you Somebody

That's so sad though, my sister had an awful stepmum and it caused so much heartache.

I just want him to feel equal to our girls, that is really important to me. He doesn't need me to be his mum, he has one who has done a wonderful job, i just want him to know he's welcome and loved.

I don't see why it's daft at all? I'm 39 and I love still having a pillow case of presents. He'll love it. Definitely do it.

I don't think it's in any way daft.

I think it's a fab idea..I started doing sacks for my parents!!! very silly but it brings smiles all round!

I think it's a great idea! It will make him feel more equal to your girls and completely included in your family I'm sure you'll all have a great day

Wonderful idea.
My DS is 15 and in the process of getting to know his biological father for the first time.
He has 2 half-siblings and I know he would roll his eyes but secretly love it!

What a lovely step-mum you are.

I agree, daft it may be but he needs to feel valued and the best way to do that around Christmas is to treat him the same as your own sons. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas together.

I did the same for my eldest DSS (18 at the time) when he was unexpectedly with us one Christmas. I did stockings for everyone including DH and my parents who were also there.

I spent hours working out little gifts which I thought he would like. He loved it and used everything afterwards. He told his Dad that it meant a lot that I had gone to the trouble for him especially as he arrived with only a couple of days notice.

So yes I am sure your DSS will love it (even if he won't admit it at the time )

when i was younger at xmas my stepbrothers always got sacks with lots of presents and my sister and i got a voucher and selection box it was awful i would have loved to have a wonderful sm like you who though of getting us sacks too! my mum has always had xmas sacks for my sis and me (now 27 and 29) and since are partners now spend xmas with us they have sacks too it makes them feel like a part of the family and its so much fun watching everyone pulling out the wee bits and pieces they get.