Bedroom arrangements advice

[Stepmumm]

Looking to blend 2 families together in a new house, there will be 4 bedrooms, master bedroom for us, then 3 bedrooms. We have 4 kids (dp has 3, i have 1 - all the same gender) at the moment his eldest has his own room, mine us the next eldest and has his own room, his younger 2 share a room. So this is the same arrangement we are planning in the new house. However, it seems to be 3 bedrooms are a decent size and the 4th is usually time - just room for a bed. So how do we sort out fairly who has the tiny room?!

[Stepmumm]

Tiny - not 'time'!

[allnewtaketwo]

What ages are the children?

[Stepmumm]

13, 10, 6 and 5

[Stepmumm]

It would be great if they could all have their own rooms/all rooms were equal size but we can't afford!

[allnewtaketwo]

What about the 13 and 10 year olds share, as do the 6 and 5 year olds, and then the box room is where they can keep all their extra stuff/toys/books. Or it could be a chill out room for them?

[theredhen]

Some might suggest that the 2 eldest share and the 2 youngest share and the fourth room is a "study" for doing homework, but personally as a parent of an only child who moved in with 4 others, I think it's important your child has his/her own room.

Also, are your DP kids / your kids there more often or all full time?

[allnewtaketwo]

Good point redhen, I was assuming they were all there permanently. If only your child lives there permanently then I agree he should have a room of his own.

[Stepmumm]

We thought the 2 youngest sharing should get the next biggest room as there will be 2 of them in there. That seems to have gone down okay! The tiny room will only fit a single bed in. Hadn't thought about the 2 eldest sharing, we thought they'd be better in their own rooms as thats what they're used to and they're getting older and will have be developing other interests

[Stepmumm]

All will be with us full time, and yes i think mine would benefit from his own quiet space to go (although he would like to share!)

[allnewtaketwo]

Are they all there full time?

[allnewtaketwo]

Sorry x-post!

[Stepmumm]

Redhen-i may also be asking other afvice from you when we move the !

[Stepmumm]

Then .... (my typing is baf!)

[Stepmumm]

See! I mean bad! Damn phone keyboard!

[NotaDisneyMum]

How about you offer the 13 & 10 year old the choice between sharing a bedroom, with use of the small room as private space to study/chill out or the 13 year old has the small room on his own as a bedroom and uses family areas for homework?

You'll need to help & support them come to an agreement and weigh up the pros and cons for each of the options, but if it really doesn't matter to you, it could help the transition and their relationship with each other

[theredhen]

Stepmumm - if you've got a DP who will listen and respect you, if he has an ex who isn't intent on causing chaos, then you won't need my advice!

Seriously, you need to talk, talk and talk some more before you move in.

Talk about rules but also about consequences. Get things moving along the same wavelength now before you move in, get the kids bedtimes sorted now, mealtime expectations, pocket money, chores etc etc. because when you move in, it's really, really hard to change things around and it's "easier" for your DC to fit in with 3 others, as it's the line of least resistance - 1 whining kid or 3 whining kids?

[Stepmumm]

Thanks redhen, any words of wisdom greatly appreciated