Oh my how things have changed

[voddiekeepsmesane]

Just need to vent a little.

18yo dss came to live with us 6 weeks ago. I was (and am) delighted that after 17 years dp finally gets to be the resident parent even if it is at the point that dss is officially an adult.

But while dss is a lovely boy (man?) it has been a massive adjustment for me. Whilr dp and ds(8yo) have taken it in their stride I have had issues.

18 year olds hygiene is much to be desired and have already nudged dp to have a talk and eventually had to have the embarrasing talk with him myself.

Having to close doors while changing, lock toilet doors and generally no naked walks through the house to get the soap, dye my hair or entice my dp.

And don't even mention the lack of privacy with regards to having sex.

I really do enjoy the fact that he is with us and we are able to help him along with his career, something his mother dosen't seem to have time for (a whole other thread) and that his father,brother ( and for that fact me) are closer to him than we ever have been.

But wow what a change in the way I live my life in my own home.

Thanks for allowing me this rant :)

[Gigondas]

Hmm it's tricky (dss has lived with use off and on since he was 14). They are interesting at that age but stick with it. For all the pain in the arse moments, dss is a lovely man and brilliant with his little sisters.

But the hygiene thing good luck (Nearly 7 years on using lynx Africa is still seen as a viable alternative to showering ).

[ArcticRain]

DSS 16&18 hygiene is good , but I feel your pain with regards to locks and not being able to run downstairs even in underwear or a slip to fetch something ! Took me a good month to feel comfatable breast feeding in front of them , because I was scared of nipple flashing , but they didn't really care .

I have nice cotton pjs now !

[voddiekeepsmesane]

Oh yes the adidas deodorant is used in excess rather than a shower here

And yes I have aquird a few pairs of cotton pjs in the last few weeks :)

Glad to know that what I am experiencing isn't unique!

[voddiekeepsmesane]

aquired*

[voddiekeepsmesane]

oh dear acquired*

[Gigondas]

Have got myself a very nice dressing gown.

To be fair He has a hard time as dd1 is no respecter of the right to lie in for her brother

[Petal02]

Voddie, you're braver than me! DSS is nearly 18 and I couldn't contemplate him living with us!

[voddiekeepsmesane]

hmmm beginning to not regret it thats the wrong word , I suppose I am realising now just how much an adjustment it has been for me. But I know how much it has meant to dp and as long as dss isn't still here in 5 years time I am willing to deal with it :)

[marriednotdead]

I remember how irritating I found the 'covering up' when DSS moved in with us 3.5 years ago! I've got used to it now but at the time it was really hard.

Luckily I've known him well/long enough to be able to insist on my hygiene standards- he's a sweaty one so daily showers, only Mitchum will do, any Lynx etc goes on top

[Petal02]

Voddie, will he be going to uni? If he does, he'd still officially live with you, but would be away a lot ...........

[voddiekeepsmesane]

No uni. left school at 16 went to college to do a car bodywork and paint course. final year next year but only 1 day a week so busy trying to motivate him into a job :)

[Petal02]

Good luck with that! Thankfully my DSS is very keen to start uni in 2013, light at the end of the tunnel!

[voddiekeepsmesane]

Well at least it's giving me a taste of things to come with ds :)

There are jobs and apprenticeships around where we are but unless we actually almost hold his hand the motivation is lacking.

[NonnoMum]

From my experience of DSS, I would try to establish...

curtains/blinds get opened in the morning...
bedroom window gets opened to air room
he has his own towels etc (not just general family ones)
buy him a dressing gown
have one yourself
no plates/cups etc get left in room
bin gets emptied regularly

Yes, it's hard to adjust but just keep going. Good luck.

[voddiekeepsmesane]

All good advice there Nonno thanks

[ArcticRain]

Yes to the windows and blinds open. Sometimes our upstairs smells of sweaty teenagers and gassy stomachs ! Thankfully we have an en suite , and DH or the lads clean their bathroom. I don't venture in !

They adore their baby sister though so it pays off.