Name changed for this as don't want to out myself.
Sorry if this turns out long...
Ok, background - DSD is from the north and lives with her mum and her husband and her baby brother.
I live down south with her dad and my DD.
She comes to us every school holiday and for the odd weekend here and there. When I first met DSD she was 8 and extremely shy, it took her a good few months to warm to me. She was like no child i had met before, very shy, and in her self if that makes sense? She used to cry every night for her mum, so i put it down to her getting used to all the changes etc.
Fast forward to now, we get on brilliantly, her and my daughter are inseparable. We all have good relationships with each other.
For the last year, DSD (now 11.5) has been very very clingy to me, she waits for me outside the loo, she wants to be involved with everything that I do, I was absolutely thrilled at first because it has taken so long to work up a good relationship with her, at times I had doubts if she would ever like me! But now I'm starting to think maybe this behaviour isn't quite right?
She's done a complete 180. She cries for a whole day before she has to leave to go home to her mum, she wants to stay with us for a bit longer every time, and after she's gone home, she will spend the night messaging Me DP and DD saying she is crying and she misses us all so much.
The behaviour that I find unusual is...
- she absolutely, under no circumstance talk about her mum, or her husband. Not that I expect her to come gossiping, but I always try and mention them, because I think it's important that she understands that we are all friends, rather then her dads family against her mums.
- we gave her a laptop a few years ago so she could keep in touch with her dad more, she broke it unfortunately. So this Xmas we got her an all singing and dancing phone. So she could use man to talk to us. We top the phone up once a month so she has free Internet, we asked her mum if this was ok, she said it was fine. But she only uses it at DPs mums house and never at home?
- she is SO shy, if you take her anywhere and a stranger talks to her, she just stares at the floor and refuses to talk to them, or even acknowledge them. When she first started coming down she didn't even say thank you to waiters or shop keepers etc. she now does, but it's taken hard work to get her there.
I'm just really worried about her home life tbh, there's been things in the past with her mum selling things we have bought for DSD. And letting her walk a LONG way on her own.
I hope all this makes some kind of sense?
So, am I being paranoid? Do you think something might be wrong?