In the spirit of Harry Hill, which one is better;
The child (age 13) who asks the person who had cooked the food if he could have the last item of food left on the centre of the table (thereby not asking the other adult at the table) or the child who snatches the last piece of food and loudly announces "I am having this" and stuffs it into their mouth and their parent never says a word? (ages 9 - 15)
The child who has the annoying habit of using silly voices and silly random phrases in conversation (age 13) or the child who screams and cries for ten minutes when she is told she can't wear a a particular pair of socks or a preferred T shirt because of suitability on that particular day. (age 9)
The child (age 13) who picks his clothes up every night, hangs the towel on the rail, draws his own curtains and unpacks his own school bag or the child who has all this done for him because apparently he is too young to be expected to do such things (age 12).
The child (age 13) who is upstairs in bed by 9pm every night and who is woken in the morning by the parent? or the children who are still hassling parents at nearly midnight and are then waking them at 6am every single morning (ages 9 to 15).
The child (age 13) who will fiddle with the salt and pepper pot or his cutlery in a restaurant or play with the lemon and ice in his glass (age 13) or the children who snatch things from a waiters hand (age 9) and who never say please or thank you when ordering from the waiter. (age 9 to 15)
The child who writes thank you letters (age 13), sends texts and thanks in person when receiving birthday and Christmas presents or the children who snatch presents from gift givers hands and never or very rarely say thank you. (ages 9 - 15).
The child who demands to be read a bedtime story every night who refuses to let her parent walk next to his partner in the street, sit next to her at the dinner table or on the sofa, demands to sit in the front seat of the car every time only one adult is present (age 9) or the child who asks his Mum for a cuddle and a head scratch on the sofa before he goes up to bed. (age 13)
The child who comes on holiday and wants to do activities and be active and gets frustrated when being made to sit around a holiday cottage with nothing to do (age 13) or the children that sit in the said holiday cottage not wanting to do anything unless co-erced (age 9 to 14) and refuse to come out of their room unless they are eating a meal (age 15).
The child whose father can't be bothered with him and has only seen him twice since Christmas (age 13) or the children whose parents are constantly fighting over the kids causing much stress to everyone. (age 9 to 15)
I could go on and on............
Guess who is feeling some massive injustices at the moment?!!
And which adult is the grown man (age; bloody old enough to open his eyes!) who is sniping at the above 13 year old?
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So which one is better............
theredhen · 20/03/2012 12:48
The 13 year old sounds a bit annoying. And the others sound like normal children. 
The 13 year old sounds like a lovely well mannered boy. The others sound like my step children were last year before I threatened to leave, but worse tbh.
Does your DH realise how much this is affecting you? Have you spoken to him?
Do you think he snipes at your DS because his good behaviour only highlights his own dc's disgusting behaviour. Not excusing him at all but that would explain it.
My DP used to look quite pleased when I had to tell my dc off, as it made him feel better that his weren't the only kids misbehaving. I did point out to him one day that the difference is that when mine were naughty I punished them whereas when his were bad he bought them both more presents
I have read your threads before and I honestly take my hat off to you for sticking around. They really sound awful.
The title is a bit tongue in cheek, I don't really think any child is "better" than any other. Nearly all of the above behaviours in DP children are things that could be sorted by decent parenting and things that generally I ignore unless the rudeness is directed at me, my son or if DP is not around, at their siblings.
What is really bugging me is when DP tells DS that he won't take him to a restaurant any more because he can't "behave".
Or when he calls my DS a "baby" when he asks me for a cuddle (bearing in mind in his own Dad has pretty much deserted him since his girlfriend has got pregnant, so hardly surprising he wants some comfort from me!)
When DS says silly phrases and DP tells him that it is very annoying. Not so bad on it's own but when you take it in the context of it being the only thing DP said to DS on a day out in 4 hours.
And Swed, you are totally right... I will make sure I give the 13 a good beating for being such an unreasonable child. 
theredhen You have been living with this situation for a number of years. I remember being on a thread of yours around Christmas 2010. 
allnew same here - more expected of a 5 year old than a 13 year old... I can sometimes see his point. But as purple says, it's important that it is actual "naughtiness" or bad manners that they are pulled up on rather than niggly irratating behaviours.
And I do dislike when there hasn't been much interaction between DH and DD but then he reprimands her out of the blue. It's a bit "Victorian Dad" isn't it.
Particluarly when they are victorian dad to one and diney dad to the other
Yes, I have spoken with DP and he has agreed to make more effort to be positive with DS and I can see he is doing so, he also apologised to me.
I gave him the example of his kids snatching at the dinner table and he said that his kids doing this didn't really bother him. I then asked him why he critisised my son for not asking HIS permission to take the last item on the dinner table as surely asking MY permission is better than simply snatching the food? He couldn't answer me.
I think he has a complete block and biological goggles on when his kids are around. I gave him some more examples, such as present snatching and no thank you's and he agreed it is wrong but said he hadn't noticed. 
His own kids are seeing less and less of him and he has been dismissing his own sons needs for affection and kindness as "cissy" or "girly" and this is costing him dearly at the moment much to his ex wifes delight.
I have told him in the past and I stand by my decision to not allow him to discipline my son as I feel he can only do so if he has a positive relationship with my son. I'm still waiting for that positive relationship to develop. My son is guilty of addressing me alone in conversation when my DP is in the room, for example "Mum, you'll never guess what happened today" or "Mum, can I have a biscuit please" but I still don't think it excuses a grown mans non interest at best, or sniping at worst.
I think there has been a very good point made about personality traits and bad upbringing and being able to differentiate between them. For example my DSC lack of basic manners could easily be corrected by my DP, however, my DSD4 ability to talk mindless chatter for the sake of it, is very annoying but it is part of her personality and can't be "corrected". Seeing that written down has made it even clearer in my mind.
I also think DP enjoys seeing DS told off, and he often bunches my son in with his kids when they are misbehaving and will say "the kids" are doing this or that, when my DS is not part of it. I think there is some jealousy too as DS and I do have a close relationship, which he doesn't share with his own kids.
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