Mumsnet Talk

Just had to write this down. Still haven't told DSD why she doesn't live with BM. DH and B/SIL haven't decided when to do it so I'm going to stop asking. I feel sorry for the kid but I can't take it on myself to talk to her can I? Soooo frustrated. Plus I have umpteen other things on my mind. Am I being cruel? I honestly have very few reserves of compassion left cos it just seems wasted and thrown back in my face!

Daysie - I'm sorry that the adults in DSD life don't see things the same way as you do - I agree with you, but this is one of those situations in which steps- find themselves totally powerless

Harsh though it is, I do find that in situations like this, the mantra "not my DC, not my problem" helps a little. If you can support her to the best of your ability despite what you see as poor parenting decisions, then that will be a great help to her - but equally, it is a big ask of you to support DSD emotionally and practically when she is not, in your opinion, being supported adequately by her parent and guardians

I fully understand that you believe that the behaviour, distress and problems you are expected to deal with could be avoided - and I don't think you should be expected to deal with the situation created by their decisions

That's the thing ...I'm the one who will have to deal with it cos I just know it will all blow up when SIL has her baby (in the next 4/6 weeks) you see they didn't take DSD out of love but from some misguided sense of 'thats what mil would want' MIL passed away in 2002. neither of them seem to want DSD there. And when baby comes I can see it getting worse. DH has def changed his tune since our chat the other day regarding my involvement, but still sticks his head in the sand and hopes things will just go away. Arggghhhh....someone pass the g&t...oh no I can't ...have 3 poorly DCs at home.

Thanks btw.