Mumsnet Talk

In our house the rule is that the toilet gets flushed whenever uses it. I am 100% inflexible on this.

Their mother doesn't agree with flushing the toilet just for a wee.

The boys (6 and 3) sometimes ask why.

We've always said that different houses sometimes have different rules just like they're different in other ways (eg. we have cats and chickens but Mummy doesn't, she has a Wii and we have Kinect for XBox) and generally this goes down ok. But sometimes the eldest pushes for why we are different.

My reason is that I think it's uncivilised and it smells (seriously I don't feed them asparagus but yikes!) but I can't say that because the inference is that she's uncivilised and likes the smell of piss.

'We just are' is a bit too like 'because I said so' but I can't think of an alternative. Am I missing something?

I know it's a silly tiny issue but they keep forgetting to flush and each time we remind them we go over it again.

Tell them to ask thier mum. Some people think it's a waste of water. Not a big deal. Is she really uncivilised and smelly?

No she's not uncivilised (apart from this one thing) and smelly!

I guess I've been cowardly not getting them to ask her since as she is probably unaware we have a different rule and I've had no desire to raise it. Think I'll have to if I can't get them to drop it.

If I have a wee during the night, I don't usually flush the toilet , but then I am uncivilised and smelly

I use these situations as an opportunity to highlight how "everyone" is different - there are different rules at each home, school, grandparents houses, friends homes - and it often leads to a discussion about what rules the DC's will have in their own homes when they are grown up

DSS can be quite persistent about it - I'm sure he is hoping to "trick" me into criticising his mum's rules/choices - but I just reiterate that everyone is different and I "prefer" things done my way in my home, so those are the rules here, just as his mum prefers things done her way in her home, and she has her own rules there

Thanks NotaDisneyMum. I'll stick with repeating myself about everybody being different. Can't be any harder than endlessly repeating that actually yes you have to eat your tea/have your hair washed/stroke not bat the cat with your hand.

oh yes can completely sympathise with this. we used to get this a lot - they could eat every meal on their laps with television on, have pizza every day, never eat fruit, can lie in bed all day if they want, etc. Nor have to return phone messages from their dad if they didnt want to....

Am approaching this from the other end with my DCs, who were always taught not to flust at night (comes from not wanting to wake a light-sleeping baby when DD was small), and tbh aren't that good at flushing at any time . DP and his DCs are much more disciplined. And, unlike you, his DCs don't mince words in telling mine they are smelly if they don't!

Am going with the,"houses have their own rules, and some people are more sensetive about smells than others" at the moment. I do think that's true actually - it may be your DSC's mother (and the DSCs too possibly) really don't notice the smell, so it's about teaching them to be respectful of how other people feel, even if they don't share their feelings.