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any stepmums out there who wanted children but couldnt

(3 Posts)
24greenpeas Sun 05-Feb-12 11:02:56

just a hypothetical question really..thinking too much in the future but am just aware of my age (late 30's) and the fact that i am with a dedicated dad (early 50's) who coparents his young daughter. Im unsure as to whether i have the right mental attitude to cope with just being a stepmum and not a biological mum. I would love to have a child but dont feel like my partner does. He has said he would but the circumstances are not as i would like. I love his daughter and am wondering whether that is enough and whether i could deal with just being a stepmum. If so - how do you do it?

origamirose Sun 05-Feb-12 14:54:15

You do it by treating his child/children as a bonus and appreciating the positives they bring. You have to constantly focus on the benefits you get from the situation rather than the drawbacks.

It's the most difficult thing I've ever done (made more difficult by DPs ex who refuses to acknowledge me and any part I might have in her children's lives) and I couldn't have done it without a supportive partner (and some CBT)!

24greenpeas Mon 06-Feb-12 17:36:10

am really struggling at the moment..am at the point of taking it all on and embracing or quitting - which doesnt make me feel very good about myself. Am just concerned about how many dreams of mine i am squashing in order to carry this forward. I just cant seem to relax with it all at present. Thanks for your advice.

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