Step mother in turmoil :(

[MischeviousMum]

My 18 y/0 DSD moved out just after Xmas and in with PILs.

Something's got into her head over the last week and she wants nothing more to do with me cause she heard from a random person that I might have said 'I want someone to give me a baby' and then got with her dad, and also cause I put on FB on Friday that it was the first time since DS was born (15 months ago) that we'd had no kids in the house: that's translated to her that I'm having a go at her saying she never gave me and DH time together (she didn't, we got married in August and we had DS at my parents for the night and asked DSD if she could stay at her bfs for the night, he ended up staying at ours that night!!)

Her initial reason for moving out was that she didn't like being nagged for not doing housework, even though we got so desperate for her help we offered to pay her. So she moved out.

She's now saying that she moved out cause I've changed her dad into a horrible person, I made the house so horrible she had to move out.

In my defence I think she's looking to blame someone else, she asked me to adopt her just before she turned 18, I couldn't cause of her age, so we spent a long time finding a symbol that meant mother and daughter and we paid for her to get it tattooed, and I would get the same when we could afford it. She calls me mum etc etc

I'm not particularly looking for advice I'm just feeling sorry for myself as she's saying such horrid hurtful things. I understand her blaming me but there's not need in my eyes to be trying to drag me down!!

[TooMuchInLove]

I would say she is just being a bitch frankly. You know she loves you she is just kicking off. Probably because she wants to be grown up and things like that.
She will come back when she realise how good you are to her.

this is what girls do...my sister was the same at her age.
she probably does just need to grow up a bit and maybe moving out will do that for her!

just remember you aren't in the wrong at all she is just going through general teenage shit that she wants to air somewhere i expect.
i hope it all resolves soon x

[nenevomito]

Teenagers really are a different species some times. I wouldn't try to work out what is going on in her head. I doubt its the things that she is saying as in the grand scheme of things they are small.

Could you ask to meet her on neutral territory? Maybe suggest you meet up at a local coffeeshop as you'd like to catch up on what she's up to. You don't have to broach the reasons why she went or that she went or even ask her to come back. It just gives her a way back in without losing face.

[MischeviousMum]

Thanks for advice, I'm going to leave contact till things die down a bit, currently PILs and DHs side of the family not speaking to me so will let things settle before I arrange to meet her.

[kaluki]

Why aren't they speaking to you?
I was the same at 18. I gave my poor step dad such a hard time I feel ashamed when I think about it , especially as I'm a step mum now and know how hard it is. I love him to bits though and now we are very close.
Just leave her to it, she'll come round.

[missduff]

It sounds like a typical hormonal moody teenager to me.
I think I used to threaten to move out most weeks at that age, over things like my mum being horrendously horrible for making me tidy my room or asking me to wash up.
I would try not to worry about it too much, remain calm, make sure she knows you love her and that the door is always open if she chooses to move back.