Anyone else dreading Xmas?

[BOMting]

I'm sure this has been done to death but I wondered if anyone else was feeling the same as me?

This year it is our turn to have my DD and my DH's DD from Xmas lunch until end of Boxing Day. We do this every year and it has always been fab. But this year DSD has turned in to the DSD from hell. She has decided she hates me. She doesn't want to be anywhere near me and she's being mean to my DD who is in turn acting up left right and centre. DH and I are strong, but all we do is talk about DSD and what to do about her behaviour. I have taken the stance recently that I will just stay out of the way when she is around so that he can spend time with her so I'm worried it's going to drive a wedge.
We've booked a really fancy Xmas lunch out this year and I'm dreading being sat around the table with a ratty horrible teenager.

I'm considering just leaving DH and DSD to it and going to my Mum's but that will just be awful for DH and I don't think I can do it.

Bah-Humbug.

[chelen]

Hi, yes Christmas is hard here too. Sorry to hear you're dreading things. I would argue you really shouldn't be leaving them to it. Shouldn't your DH be dealing with any bad behaviour? Personally I would be tempted to do half presents in morning and half in afternoon when you get home. If she makes a mockery of the lunch out (I mean overt bad behaviour rather than just sulky teenager stuff, which I would ignore), just don't give her the second half presents. I wouldn't bother trying to make sure she has a good time - your job is only to give her the opportunity, she is entitled to cut her nose off to spite her face! Offer her a good time, tell her clearly what you expect and if she shows signs of mucking it up say what will happen if she doesn't behave, then follow through. Being tough might affect one day but you can then make things up to your other daughter on Boxing Day afternoon.

Last year my SS decided he hated me, because (he explained) if me and his Dad weren't married his mum would come back. Dad basically said to him it's ok to think that, but from Mum's & Dad's perspective that is never going to happen even if Chelen disappears, if you don't want to take part that is fine and you;re fine to just go and do something else because we are getting on with things. Fortunately he came round!