Advice please - 15yo DSD bad time to move/change schools?

[strongblackcoffee]

Okay, I will try to be brief. DSD is now nearly 15, in year 10. She lives with her mum, but they are having incredibly rough time at the moment, splitting up with her mum's partner and having to move (again - there have been many moves in the last 10 years). There have been many problems with her mum over the years, and she has always said that she wants to move in with us when she leaves school, to do college with us. I appreciate that a lot of this may be saying what she thinks we want to hear, but she has been saying it for 10 years now. However, due to current situation, she is now asking about coming to us earlier than planned. It would be a big move - Wales to England, 250 miles, a whole new school, friends, lifestyle. I'm genuinely concerned about DSD moving and fitting in with the local comprehensive at this so important stage in her teenage years. She's quite a confident kid, and I'm worried about bullying, general teenage shit. Probably just projecting all the difficult things that I had to go through at that age..? From a home point of view she would be very welcome - we have two younger boys who adore her. I'm under no illusions about what dealing with a teenager can be like, but I am happy to offer her the security that she hasn't got at home at the moment.

I appreciate that there is a whole different discussion around her moving away from her mother, which is not what I'm asking advice on here, as I think it's too emotive. There have been many incredibly difficult issues over many years which I don't really want to go into.

What I'm really asking advice on is whether you think she could make a good transition in the middle of her GCSEs, or whether this would be a really bad idea. Whether anyone has had similar situations, and how these have worked out. Or just any advice that you have really.

Thank you :)

[strongblackcoffee]

Sorry, just to add - I have been with DH since DSD was 4. Our DSs are 4 & 5. Don't know whether that's useful information or not?!

[TooJung]

What syllabuses has she been following? Would her new school be at roughly the same point in the gcse courses if she simply transferred? Would she like to go and visit the schools she might move to?

The process of discussing this possibility might be a useful one even if she happens to stay where she is after all.

[LoopyLoopsRootyFroots]

I think it would be fine. It's only November.

I moved schools at the start of year 10 and it was academically the best move I ever made.

School will have dealt with this before and will help with the transition. (I'm a teacher by the way).

[Purpleroses]

Is she Year 10 or Year 11?
If Year 11, then probably best academically if she can hold on another 6 or 7 months til finished GCSEs.

[Purpleroses]

Sorry, didn't read you post well enough - she's year 10. Bit more feasible then. In terms of friendships really depends on the kid I think. But if she's keen, then that's a good thing - she thinks she can cope with it. Some kids are great at making friends really quickly.

[strongblackcoffee]

She's year 10 now, but wouldn't be looking to move until the summer, so in between 10 & 11.

I don't have a clue about the similarity of courses, etc., haven't looked that far into it yet, I guess that's a job for this week.

I want to make sure that we are there for her, and can offer the support she needs, but I also want to make sure that she doesn't bollox up her GCSEs, etc. really hard to know what to do for the best...

[strongblackcoffee]

Btw thank you, I really appreciate the replies - very encouraging :)

[LoopyLoopsRootyFroots]

I would do it now, not in the summer if at all possible. Coursework etc. will have started by then, it will be much trickier, although not impossible.

[strongblackcoffee]

Okay, will look into the school options at this end properly. That's a good point about doing it before the coursework kicks in properly. Thank you

[LoopyLoopsRootyFroots]

Exam boards will matter by then as well, as they are being taught to syllabus. 1st term won't have made much difference.

[warriorwoman]

Just to add that when my SD was coming to live with us I looked into finding a school place for her and all the good schools had waiting lists for her year.
She was in year 10 at the time. The local authority does have a duty to get a place for her in a school, but it might not be in a school that is near to you or that has a good reputation. So I would look into the schools that you are thinking of and see what the situation is and then if you have to, put her name on the waiting list now, even if she doesn't need the place if one comes up, at least you have her name down. You might be lucky in your area and there might be lots of school places available. There aren't in my area and further afield from us.
My SD came to live with us for a while but stayed at her old school. It meant having to travel over an hour and a half but that was what she preferred to do.

[strongblackcoffee]

Thanks for the replies, it's all really useful and pretty encouraging to hear. I think it's quite unlikely that she actually will move down to us now, hopefully she'll sort things out with her mum and stay happily in Wales until she's completed her GCSEs. But there is always the possibility, and it's the first time we've had to suddenly think seriously about it. It's always been something off in the future until now. So it hadn't even occurred to me about different syllabuses (syllabi?!) until mentioned here. Or about waiting lists. So really helpful to know what sort of problems we might come up against.

And also, so fantastic to hear the more encouraging stuff about how she might be fine fitting in with the other kids, and how it might not be the big traumatic life-altering move that I'm making it into...! She's really into photography and film, and our local school is really strong in that area. Just have to see if it has a massive waiting list now...

Thank you