self published provocative photos of DSD age 14 WWYD?

[tokenwoman]

Can someone please give me some advice on what to do especially if you currently have teenage DSD or DD yourself

My DSD is 14 and is currently in the process of posting provocative photos of herself online on a site that is accessible to anyone. Her facebook account is full of her in a state of general undress and bikini and generally posing slut type photos and although both my DP and the mother are friends with her on F/B and must be aware of the type of photos she is publishing they probably think its ok as her F/B account is locked down to her ?1000 ?friends? only! It is this other site that I am worried about her new use of. I seriously doubt that either of her parents know about this other site ?tumblr?

It?s like watching a car crash in slow motion and I can only guess how far she will be prepared to go in the coming months to get herself reblogged. She seems to be the only one in her group of friends that are ?allowed? to post such photos as her internet access is totally unsupervised (despite many past arguments with DP about her internet use when she is with us) and she now has her own laptop which she carries between houses so cannot be monitored. The mother isn?t very techie either so probably wouldn?t know where to start and DSD can run rings around her anyway.

DP doesn?t want to know (calls it spying on her !!)in typical Disney dad fashion and I can?t approach the mother who once accused me of letting her 9 year old DD choose and buy cheap, tarty, slutty clothes (from the ladybird range at the now defunct Woolworths!!) when I took her out shopping many years ago . The mother obviously isn?t concerned about her F/B photos (which I would be if I was her) but I am sure she would be shocked at the type of photos now being uploaded by her DD. I noticed that the F/B folder that contained more than 800 photos of just DSD is no longer available to my DP so it must now be hidden from view, probably from both parents and family so heaven alone knows what she is posting there.

I have very little involvement with DSD so can?t really broach the subject with her woman to woman as I?m invisible in her eyes and she is rarely ever without a friend when she is with us. If she was mine I would be storming into her room demanding what the f*uck she thought she was up to and telling her the facts of cyber life as well as removing every camera from her possession.

I am an IT professional well practised in the dark arts of cyber stalking/monitoring and my DP is also in IT as well which makes it doubly frustrating for me to sit on the side lines while keeping a general eye on her online behaviour which is getting worse by the day.

The most scary thing I have read in recent months is the home office report on the sexualisation of young people and sadly DSD is fitting the typical stereotype of low self-esteem and self-objectification which given the research means she is on the rocky downward spiral of behaviour patterns.

So what do I do? How do I tell either DP or the mother? Am at a complete loss although the ?bitch step' in me? whispers let her be and let her ruin her reputation while the 'fairy step' in me is whispering do something NOW before it?s too late.

Id welcome your thoughts and opinions please

[SingingTunelessly]

I'm not sure there is a lot you can do really. I take it you've told DP about your concerns? That has to be your first port of call surely. It is frustrating and very concerning but what can you really do about it if her parents are turning a blind eye. Do you have the sort of relationship where you could have a word with her?

[samwellsbutt]

not a massive amount you can do, perhaps set up a new email account and send her mum the link anonymously saying just thought you should know what your daughter is doing.

[kaluki]

What is she like in real life? Does she dress provocatively? It could be a bit of experimenting or it could be more serious.
My ex's dd had a bebo account with these type of pictures of her on. I mentioned to her Mum that she should keep an eye on what she was up to online. Turns out she was sexually active from the age of 13 and was putting pictures on there for her 15 year old boyfriend and his friends to ogle at.
They are too young at that age to realise what they are doing and it is your responsibility to at least tell one of her parents.
If they don't act on it then it really is their problem.

[tokenwoman]

thanks for the advice, my DP has what I call rose tinited specs on where his little princess is concerned and discussions about her are a no go area I think for now I will just lurk and if it gets really bad then I will take action but yes no one will thank me in the long run, oh hum there are times when trying to do the right thing as a parent and a partner is akin to being between a rock and a hard place and I hate this treading on eggshells all the bloody time

[warriorwoman]

I agree that there isn't alot you can do, except bring it to her parent's attention and then it's up to them to do something about it.