Coming up to my third Christmas as a step-parent, and as usual it all feels quite stressful and imposible to organise something that will please all parties. I was wondering how the rest of you managed Christmas, what is reasonable and what isn't.
I'm in a pretty complicated situation which involves
- family sprinkled over two countries (France and the UK)
- DP and I both being only children therefore feeling obligated to both be with our parents for Christmas
- the fact that in France the Christmas period is very short, as Boxing day doesn't exist, and if Christmas Day falls on a weekend, like this year, you don't get the Monday off as a bank holiday, you're expected to just go back to work.
DP and his ex (who lives very close to us) always used to share DSS over the Christmas period, alternating who had him on Christmas Day itself each year. This arrangement always worked really well and I know the ex is keen to keep it that way. There is no formal agreement between them, they just work everything out on an ad hoc basis, and have a good relationship still.
But now from my POV, it would be a lot easier if we just alternated who had DSS over the entire Christmas period each year, to enable us to sometimes spend it in the UK with my family (which includes my 93 year old grandmother who can't possibly travel to France but has no other family except my parents and I). Is this a reasonable thing to suggest, or do you think not?
Actually, a big part of me thinks not, that DSS should be able to see both his mum and dad over every Christmas period...and that it should be me who makes the sacrifice of either spending Christmas with my parents and grandmother OR with my DP and DSS and DP's parents. Having them all together is probably just a selfish dream, Sigh. I think just typing this out has made me realise this is one of those times when you just have to make a step-motherly sacrifice and put yourself last...