So I'm not officially a step mother in that I don't live with DP and his DD who he has full time residency of. But ever since we've known each other he's really excluded me from anything to do with her. Everytime we planned anything he'd call within the week it was due saying his DD was poorly/had made conflicting plans/had made a fuss over him going out etc etc and I was just expected to accept it each time. The DD was 12 at the time, not a baby. One time I suggested we go for a meal at our favourite Indian, the DD got wind of it and played up something rotten until he eventually cancelled on me and took her instead. It's always been the same with cinema etc, I say I want to see a certain film and he tells me very smugly "no sorry, DD will want to see that so I'm going with her."
On an evening I'd say "fancy going on skype for a bit so we can video chat?" and he'd make excuses which really told me his DD was around and wouldn't approve.
I Have never expected to take priority over her of course but the extent at which I've been pushed aside constantly has really grated on me since we met. Anyway recently she developed new friendships with a completely different group of friends and has gone from being a girl who never left his side to someone who is never home. She's 14 now and is out every evening. He now of course comes onto skype everynight and moans when I'm not on as if I should not suddenly be available because he is. Every weekend she goes out with her mates and he texts me saying he's bored and fed up/lonely and has nobody to talk to but he's completely alienated everyone around him for the sake of his DD and now wonders why nobody is available anymore.
He's currently in a mood because he has nobody to go to cinema with. See he would normally turn me down to go with his DD but now she goes with her mates - he's stuck and is kind of blaming me for not dropping everything and going with him.
I think his obsession with his DD has really damaged our relationship. I know all parents put their kids first, of course they do but surely it is unreasonable to treat everyone else like dirt in the meantime and then expect them all to still be available when the DD turns her back on him?
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Step-parenting
DP wanting my company now that the DD no longer wishes to be around him
9 replies
StrangeTides · 27/07/2011 16:08
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