What to do?

[Smum99]

Newbie here but I've been lurking for a while.Hope someone can offer assistance.

DH's ex has recently moved a new b/f into the house - weeks after the separation from 2nd husband. The new b/f was a friend's husband and there are children on both sides, so it's all very messy and hostile. DH's son lives with the ex and there is a court order in place for contact which has mostly worked well over the years.

However since the b/f has moved in contact has been difficult and the court order has been overridden by the ex many times to facilate dates that work for her new b/f's children - no discussion, DH is just told.
DH had tried to express concern to the ex about the speed of new relationship but her response is that DH is attempting to 'control her'.

To add to this the ex has outsourced all contact discussions with DH to her b/f of 3 months, again no discussion with DH just all contact (emails/txts) is from him. DH's son isn't happy with the situation, as a teen he's shocked and embarassed by his mums's behaviour and is being very protective over his much younger half siblings who are going through a horrible time.

I find the behaviour very concerning (red flags waving big time!) and can't think what we can do - other than keep regular contact with his son to check how he's doing. DH will also suggest mediation but she's not been keen to go before so I don't think that's a likely outcome.

[Smum99]

Hi MJ,
He's 13 and does try to state what he wants but his mum will override it. Also one of his younger half siblings is being bullied by the b/f's older children so he feels responsibility to be there.We're trying to help him sort that out but it's a factor for him.

I think we will need to go back to court but will try mediation first. The ex just seems to thrive on hostility as letting the new b/f take on the parental contact is just provocative. She would be furious if DH decided I should communciate with her but we can't get into the silly stupid games she plays.