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(137 Posts)
KatieBMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 16-Sep-13 13:50:07

The folks at EE would like to know how Mumsnetters teach their DCs to share.

Here's what EE have to say "We're the UK's biggest mobile network and we've just created Shared #4GEE Plans. They're a new way for your household to save money while getting the fastest mobile internet experience on your phones, tablets and laptops.

A Shared 4GEE Plan allows your whole family to enjoy the fastest speeds on EE's 4G network. It works by letting you share your data allowance across a number of devices, with everyone enjoying unlimited minutes and unlimited texts too. Even better, it's less money than having everyone on separate mobile contracts.

Shared 4G Plans are unique to EE and we wanted to celebrate their launch by asking you how sharing fits into your busy life."

So,
~ What are your top tips for getting your children to share with their siblings and/or friends? Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour? Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them? What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older?
~ How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?

Whatever your experiences please do share on this thread (no pun intended wink).

Everyone who adds their thoughts and comments to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win an (unlocked) HTC One handset (worth up to £490!). For full T&Cs please click here.

Please note your comments may be used (anonymously of course) on EE's pages on MN, social media channels and possibly elsewhere.

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

With my DS, step sons and child minded kids (yes all together at once!) I used a kitchen timer set to 5 minutes (sometimes 10 mins depending on toy). They can see them time running down for their turn, and when it rings it's a clear signal that it's the next person's turn. Works a treat, I always recommend it to solve sharing squabbles!

Oops I pressed post too soon! My DS in particular really struggles with sharing (he has autism) and the visual aid of the timer really helps him see that it's fair.

I have before used an egg timer when it was a particular thing like the laptop which doesn't belong to any of them but I definately think there is something to be said for also teaching them that some things are just for them for example they all have a 3ds console, this was important to me as its something that could be broken or mistreated by another sibling and all would lose out so some things are not shared . don't so much reward for sharing but will pick up on it if I witnessed it or was told by school by praise. I think the enjoyment they get out of sharing sweets and watching a film is ten times bigger than the enjoyment they would get scoffing them on the way home alone and this is the kind of attitude they seem to have grown up with.

GetKnitted Mon 16-Sep-13 21:05:11

I've gone for the traditional route. While DS2 was under 2, DS1 had to share always, because DS2 was too young to understand. Now DS2 has seen his brother sharing so much he has started to share spontaneously. When DS1 was this age he found sharing very difficult, having been an only child til then.

edlyu Mon 16-Sep-13 21:12:46

When sharing cake, one cuts and the other chooses.

Strict turn and turn about when it comes to seats in the car (no car seats) or settee for tv watching.

Timer for goes on consoles .

Dylanlovesbaez Mon 16-Sep-13 21:16:47

We often use a sand timer at school it's great as a visual tool for explaining time to those who have no concept of it. Dd is 16 months and going through a 'mine' stage, struggling with ideas about how to get her to share so will be watching thread with interest. Mainly I praise her for sharing which currently seems to work, we will see how long it lasts!

QOFE Mon 16-Sep-13 21:21:10

My DD (10) is very good most of the time at sharing with my DS (3). I think the age gap helps because it means one of them gets it and is able to set a good example to the other. We do lots of "one for you, one for me" and turn taking games together.

However DD does really really hate DS fiddling with anything in her bedroom so she has a stairgate on her door to keep him out. That way, she has a safe haven that's all hers, which makes her a lot more willing to share other things.

Buswanker Mon 16-Sep-13 21:43:25

I have never had any problems with sharing. We have six children which means they dont know any different other than to share. Having a larger family means we all stick to a budget so we certainly don't have an iPad etc each, even if we had unlimited amounts of money I would not let them have lots of expensive gadgets all of their own.
An example is my 15 year old saved his birthday money for an iPod, we put the rest of the money in so he had enough. He is happy to share with the younger children as long as they ask nicely and dont drop it!

dahville Tue 17-Sep-13 12:06:17

My husband and I do over-exaggerated sharing with each other in front of our toddler. He's such a mimic that modelling behaviour works really well for him. It doesn't always work when he needs to share with other children but in the family setting we're getting good results.

MaddAddam Tue 17-Sep-13 13:50:08

We had a distinction between Toys they had to share (with siblings, visiting children) and Toys they didn't have to share - Special Toys. So they could choose to not share some of their precious toys, but they couldn't do that to all/most toys. This worked quite well.

Also I didn't make the older children share everything they were doing with the younger ones, as younger children often want everything that someone else has as soon as the older child picks it up, so I would let the older child do something in peace and the younger would have to have a turn at a later point. Cos I think it's quite unfair on older ones to have to give up everything when a younger child pesters.

i think that makes all the difference madd having the option to say no im just doing this alone right now isnt necessarily a bad thing and as adults we do it so encourage the same with the children. obviously if you are playing a car game and x wants to join in then you dont have 20 cars and them 2 but if one car is new out of pocket money or as a reward i wouldnt expect them to share it instantly. it is learning that sharing is important and makes you and other people happy but sometimes its okay to want to do something on our own. I sometimes worry that i let them play alone too much as i am very happy in my own company but they all share well at school/home apart from the odd " hes taking all the sand" in the sandpit. which i havent worked out how to solve yet

CMOTDibbler Tue 17-Sep-13 14:05:07

DS is an only child, but we do a lot of modelling of good sharing behaviour (including not always sharing equally if its something special) in the family.
We also make sure that visiting children get equal shares and things like 'I cut, you choose'

manfalou Tue 17-Sep-13 20:20:51

My two boys are 3 and 5 months so now the youngest is starting to grab at things the eldest is starting to feel a bit like 'hey thats mine'. If it is one of his favourite toys that the baby's grabbing then I will take it off him and give it to DS1, saying something like 'this toy is for bigger boys, Mason will play with it with you when you're older' but also vice versa with DS2's toys. If DS1 only wants the toy that the baby's grabbing simply because the baby's grabbing it I'll tell him that it is his go on 2 minutes which does work at the minute but I think as DS2 grows then a visual timer will be the best way forward.

I find it hard to put the sharing rules into practice when in public like at the soft play centre. As whilst I ensure that my child shares with others fairly they don't always share with him which he cottons on to and asks why. Children snatching toys of other children just because they want it and not because they actually want to play with it makes me so mad but its not my place to tell that child any different and I don't want to encourage my child to take it back off them either. I tend to say something along the lines of 'that little/boy isn't being kind today, shall we go and play with something different?' .. There was one incident where the child followed my DS and continued to take toys off him so I did have to say something to the child, to which he left crying. I felt awful but what else was there to do.

Iwaswatchingthat Tue 17-Sep-13 20:29:28

My two are recently going through a phase of finding it hard to share, to be fair it is more dd2 won't share with dd1.

I find that when dd1 comes and complains that dd2 is not being fair I have given up on trying to intervene and sort it out. At 8 & 7 I am trying to encourage them to start sorting out any issues they have themselves. I usually have to start them off though....

To help the process along I usually say "You need to go and work out with your sister how best you can both play with x,z." Then add in a stage whisper styleeee voice to encourage dd2's more generous side via her ego, "but you know that dd2 is usually so kind and considerate I am sure she will share beautifully if you just ask her. Her teacher tells me she is really good at sharing..."

* As a final resort if they don't share neither of them have it. Well it worked for King Soloman!!!*

BadlyWrittenPoem Wed 18-Sep-13 11:58:02

What are your top tips for getting your children to share with their siblings and/or friends?
Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour?
I might comment positively according to the age of the child (so the one year old gets praise for any sharing whereas the six year old I would only comment if she was being particularly kind eg by sharing something of particular value to her.
Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them?
Yes, it depends on what the item is - I expect the paddling pool and trampoline to be shared whereas books and toys it would depend on the item. I don't have multiple copies of the same book but some toys it is nice to both play with one at the same time.
What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older? How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?
Yes, strategies have changed as described above in that it doesn't need to be instructed so much as they get older but it's never been something that's been an issue for us. Our biggest issue has been that DD1 is so unpossesive of her toys that she would unwittingly pick up another child's toy with no idea that it might upset them and then not realise why they were getting upset.

Spirael Thu 19-Sep-13 10:02:17

Lead by example. DH and I often point out about how we're sharing and how nice it is in front of DD. We do the same when we share things with her. Seems to have worked, because she'll now spontaneously share her things as well!

Melted my heart yesterday when she carefully held a bun she'd made at nursery all the way home in the car without nibbling, then insisted we all sit on the sofa and share it together.

missorinoco Thu 19-Sep-13 10:13:09

Keep praising good sharing, even when they are a little older
.
For pre schoolers if there is a precious toy they will struggle to share with friends we put it away for the duration of the visit.
I also reiterate at this age the X may be playing with their toy but they will not be taking it home.

My strategies have changed with age. I encourage the older children to offer the toddler an alternative if he has taken their toy or they want a turn and he won't share, and emphasise he is learning to share.

WowOoo Thu 19-Sep-13 11:21:42

With toys or games I sometimes use a timer with a silly foghorn noise.

With food or snacks I'll often put things in bowls so they can help themselves - but I make it clear that they have to leave enough for the other people at the table and ask if other people have had enough.

They have to let their friends share their stuff. If it's something special and the visitor is not old enough to be careful with it we stash it away.

I bought some things for the children to share last year and it actually worked better than I'd anticipated. I've been able to let them negotiate themselves, but I'll step in to referee if it starts getting nasty!

We use a star chart in our house. Dd knows that although she may not like sharing, something nice will happen at the end of the week if she does!

We normally use rewards like trips to museums or grannies house. It's cheap and cheerful but gets her on board

afussyphase Thu 19-Sep-13 12:20:49

We use a combination of things: strict turn-taking for things like who gets to turn the light on/off (I know, I know), more flexible turn-taking for short active things (eg who is doing a roll on the mat), praise for good sharing, and finally me telling them in my very firm tone that if I hear any more about something not being shared, I am TAKING IT AWAY and no one will have it. The problem with that is that DD1 just gives up and DD2 gets the toy because she is a toddler. But if DD1 is really bothered I go over and explain and say again that if it's not shared I will take it away. Many repetitions later and DD2 is pretty good about it.

ouryve Thu 19-Sep-13 12:25:53

My boys both have ASD and don't "do" sharing.

Actually, DS1 does. Everything that is his, is his, and everything that is DS2's, is his. hmm

We settle for teaching DS1 that playing nicely with DS2's toys is fine, but he mustn't destroy them and when DS2 wants to play with it, he must relinquish it. We still have to do a lot of refereeing.

We also have a large box of lego, that is mostly handmedowns or car boot finds and that has to be shared, or else it goes in time out. DS1 is not expected to share his nice sets, though. All DS2 generally wants to do is collect the wheels and windows, anyhow, so it's pointless insisting that DS1 share the special stuff with him.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Thu 19-Sep-13 13:04:24

DD1 is 2.7. We only really share food with her at the moment, but we try to find ways of introducing sharing toys and other things at home where we can. We offer to share things with her and each other eg who would like to share a slice of toast with me? Would you like to share my yogurt?
It generally works quite well, but last week at my parents' house we each only got 1/4 of a wagon wheel sad

DS was great at sharing once his sister came along when he was 18 months - we never had to teach him, he just had an innate sense of fairness.

DD on the other hand. She was awful. Once for her birthday we had takeaway pizza as a treat. She thought as it was for her birthday she should be the only one to have any - she actually launched herself at me and tried to prise open my jaw and snatch the pizza out. Another year on her birthday at a little tea party, she is heard quite clearly on film asking me if it was her birthday. When I told her it was, she bellowed Stop eating my birthday

I should point out that she was 2 and 3 for these birthdays. Not 12 & 13.

The only way to fix it was to be quite stern with her about the importance of sharing and disciplining for her bad behaviour. Being fair and consistent with it did help too. but she still has her moments

ShatnersBassoon Thu 19-Sep-13 13:52:57

Our children have been bought lots of things that are to share, even presents that have come 'from Santa' have been to share. They're just used to having things that aren't only for them.

i think games are a really easy thing to share because the dc soon learn that if you are playing kerplunk and never let anyone else have a turn the game soon becomes rather boring so if im finding we arent sharing very well i try to play some games that really dont work if you dont share then it reinforces that sharing can actually make somethings better.

MacNCheese Thu 19-Sep-13 14:19:47

I use a really big sand timer to give the dc a visual reminder of how long they have for there turn.
I also comment when I "share" a biscuit or whatever with them. Just to remind them that sharing things has its rewards.

LindySfarne Thu 19-Sep-13 14:31:22

Dd is an only child and her first word was "Mine!" but she has quite a self-sacrificing sort of personality so it was never difficult for her to share.

In fact we've had to encourage her to be a bit more assertive in communicating that she'd like a turn on things. She can be a bit too passive.

Blu Thu 19-Sep-13 15:24:36

For childcare, DS was in the company of ano0ther child the same age from 8m - 3y, so to make every day a happy day it was essential that they not be in a constant tug'0'war over toys, food, everything!

'Share' always seemed to me to be quite a nebulous concept for a small child, so we devised a training scheme based on instructions they could understand through games: Taking Turns and Both Play. We deliberately set out to teach them to 'take turns', making a game of 'X's turn' and then a few seconds later 'Y's' turn and so on - quick turns so that they didn't have to wait long, until they grasped that taking turns meant that they would get a go in a minute. 'Both Play' was what it says. ''x play with lego, AND y play with lego'.

It seemed much easier for them to grasp, and they quickly became a team, sharing happily.

AllThatGlistens Thu 19-Sep-13 16:58:27

My DS is autistic and also struggled with sharing, we used a visual aid (egg timer) and also used emotion cards to describe how sharing can make people feel happy and why.

Being able to see the egg timer reassured him that he would get his book/toy back and he gradually became able to share without the meltdowns because he better understood the concept.

Madlizzy Thu 19-Sep-13 17:04:41

It's been about turns each since the triplets were tiny, unless it was an item belonging to one child specifically that they treasured and could be potentially broken by sibling. As they've got older, they've used the time old tradition of rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets to go first, which has worked out fine and still gets used now they're 14.

nextphase Thu 19-Sep-13 19:25:32

We ask the kids, or OH if we can borrow things, or have a turn, and model sharing.

We also have a couple of things which don't come down stairs, so they are personal, and not for sharing with siblings or friends.

Ruby6918 Thu 19-Sep-13 19:35:28

with ony 18 mths between my two daughters sharing was always difficult, they both really enjoyed the same toys, i found it easier to buy two of the same but cheaper type toys so they had really similar items, maybe in a colour they had pointed at in the shop, when the squabbling started over a toy i find distration is the best, i found asking them both to sit beeside me for a wee book ead even for a few minutes, and they forgot about the toy and went back to playin together again, if thee is a screaming match i just took the toys away for a wee while and explained why it was done, i also think sitting down to a meal at the table where the food is picked off platters or plates and is finger food and it shows them how to share with food too, and always praise praise praise when they do well

Turnipvontrapp Thu 19-Sep-13 19:42:52

Really praise them when they do share nicely then they remember!

dedado Thu 19-Sep-13 19:45:14

i have a toddler.
I try to be a good role model by sharing myself and we talk about sharing e.g. when reading books or just in day to day life.
I try to show sharing as a good thing rather than an unfortunate rule to be put up with.

asuwere Thu 19-Sep-13 20:32:09

my DC are very good (generally) at sharing. the eldest is very kind natured and has always shared things with his siblings and I think the others have just learnt from that. We always divide up sweets/grapes etc fairly between them so I think that may help.
Plus we have a rule that if there is any fighting about whose turn it is for something, then the thing gets switched off/taken away so everyone loses out. Seems to work.

tinypumpkin Thu 19-Sep-13 20:33:46

A timer here as well, they seem to like this which is an added distraction for the person who is waiting for a turn. Not all things can be shared at the same time. I suppose there is a difference between turn talking and sharing.

Talking about how not sharing makes us feel and how sharing makes us feel. This works for DD2 (almost four) but not for DD3 (2) so it is age specific.

Also acting as a role model in sharing my things if appropriate.

Reading books about sharing etc.

JoyceDivision Thu 19-Sep-13 20:45:41

Rather than share, I think it wa sthe wise old mumsnet that suggested explainig the dc 'take turns'that way they know they some time with something, then other dc will, and then they will get it back for some time. It has worked, although they could squabble in
an empty room at times

When in the car with their cousins it is an absolute strict rotation order tht does not get amended in any way, and a trip means getting in the car and then when it next stops and you get out, irrelevant of journey time!

Hopezibah Thu 19-Sep-13 20:46:41

sometimes I think my children are better behaved and work together better when they are forced to share! For example, when they only had one DS console to play with between them they used to take turns so nicely and wait for their turn. Since we bought a second one, they now squabble over who has which and which game they each want to play and if they are going to play multiplayer or single player!

They have always been good at sharing their toys generally with each other and with friends who come to play.

They don't like to share their sweets or chocolates but sometimes I'll explain that they won't get any next time if they don't share (usually because I want them to share some with me!).

Theimpossiblegirl Thu 19-Sep-13 21:18:02

I had my two very close together so they have always shared toys. They have had shared presents (dolls house) and individual presents over the years. They haven't always wanted to share but are generally pretty good. It is nice for them to have things they don't have to share so I don't force it sometimes.

sealight123 Thu 19-Sep-13 21:28:10

My daughter is 2 so, right now, sharing is a big thing for us. What we do to try and teach her to share is give her an option- She can share and continue with the activities we are doing or she can not share and not be allowed to join in with us until she does. She gets attention and praise when she does well, rather than focusing on the negatives and telling her off all the time when she doesn't share. She usually chooses sharing...she's still learning though smile

Also saying caring is sharing helps us along lol

LovesBeingOnHoliday Fri 20-Sep-13 05:17:03

Very early children like to share food; you giving them some, them giving you some. So I really put lots of praise into this sharing and then build on that to share other things.

With my second it's really been I interesting as they both want tge same thing at the same time even though one is now 2 and the other 5. So I have reinforced sharing with the baby but have always explained to my oldest that the baby does not yet know what sharing is and we are going to teach him. By having her as part of the process of showing him what sharing is it has helped reduced her feeling he gets his own way all they time. He very quickly will most times, naturally bring it over to her within a min or two. I make sure they both say thank you whenever something is handed over.

I have also spent time explaining why snatching something away from the other isn't very nice as soon as it happens, and giving the item back to the original child.

tvstand Fri 20-Sep-13 10:48:00

We lead by example. So we always offer and share snacks, food, drinks. Often we offer ds something before we have had some. This way it's normal behaviour to share, you can't expect your child to share with others if you don't share with them.

Tyranasaurus Fri 20-Sep-13 11:51:10

Turn taking with adults first and work upto with other children. The ability to choose 1 special toy that you can put away and not have to share when other kid are around

lagoonhaze Fri 20-Sep-13 12:20:19

Generally no toys are off limits except very special ones and I have a rule of if its out to be seen expect to share.

MadMonkeys Fri 20-Sep-13 14:26:03

Special toys aren't expected to be shared, but most toys are - taking in turns is the best method for us.

NorbertDentressangle Fri 20-Sep-13 14:49:55

When faced with a child getting annoyed or upset and saying "but it's my toy" if another child is playing with one of their toys we used to try and get through to them that it was OK, they'd get it back etc by saying "yes I know it's your toy, it's still your toy when x is playing with it, and it will still be your toy afterwards when you get it back. x is not going to keep it".

MikeLitoris Fri 20-Sep-13 15:24:17

I do the timed play thing too. Works especially well with older dc.

With 2yo its a bit more difficult so we just try lots of praise and distractions.

coorong Fri 20-Sep-13 15:44:56

agree about all presents being sharing presents - except for their bedtime cuddly things; individual computer login / password with a timer (half hour each switches off automatically). They are 6 and 8. I monitor my account so I can see if they extend things (which they don't).
If one goes to a birthday party, have to share the party bag - everything with the other.
They have shared a room since 3 months. We established sharing from the beginning.

LLucan Fri 20-Sep-13 15:50:33

We share Jelly!! DS has no brothers or sisters, so we decided to start sharing from the same bowl of jelly. Mummy, Daddy and then DS each have a spoonful, with DS having to wait his turn, no matter how much he'd like to have some more now!

We now find that DS often offers mummy or daddy some of his food when he's eating, and always with a smile.

Snog Fri 20-Sep-13 15:53:28

I think role modelling sharing and not forcing it is all you need to do really

CherryGranola87 Fri 20-Sep-13 16:18:40

My son is 2 years old and I've never and will never "teach him" to share.

Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour?
Nope. I don't want my child thinking they have to do something to get a reward, I want them to want to do something of their own accord.

Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them?
We only have one child so far. If we have the money we would buy them both something but if not then we would explain that we don't have money left in the budget and we would work something out together.

What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older?
I am never going to force any of my children to share. What does that achieve? What does that teach them? That their voice doesn't matter? That their feelings don't matter? That another child can't patiently wait their turn?
It's like when parents tell their child they have to share and if they don't they snatch the toy off them and give it to the other child. What does that teach those children? It teaches them that it's okay to not respect another person's feelings and it teaches them that it's okay to snatch something when you want something.
Those are not things I want my children to learn.
So how come my 2 year old shares without me teaching him to?
Because he sees us share. He sees me share with my husband, he sees me share my food with him... so on and so forth.
Sometimes my son will want something which I am currently using, I just explain to him that I am using it at the moment but in a few minutes I will be finished and he can use it, is there something he would like to do whilst he waits?
My son eagerly shares his toys when friends come round, but when he's a little older and can understand my words more I will ask him before friends come over if there is anything of his that he doesn't want to share with today, a special teddy or a new book he hasn't finished reading... whatever it may be we will put them away so he can make that conscious choice.
If my son doesn't want to share then that's fine also. But I like my son to see their friend wanting to play with their toy and maybe being sad if they can't yet, and to feel that maybe it would be okay to share with them... of his own accord... not for us to force it out of him.
If it came to food and party food at his then we would explain to him what would happen before people came round (this is only if he wanted a party, we wouldn't do one if he didn't want to) that people each have a plate and put their food on their plate etc.
We would just always be around to re-a-firm that and helping him understand. There has never been a problem before though.

How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?
Like I said it's never been an issue and never will be an issue.
I don't understand this obsession with forcing our children to share.... it's just insane.

katiewalters Fri 20-Sep-13 16:23:02

I teach my son to share buy saying its nice to share and take turns. I took him to playgroups to be around other children his age where he had to share and wait his turn. He has friends round often, and they play with his toys and share things. Just instilling it from a young age, so my sons always been a good sharer. He even shares his toys every christmas with children who aren't fortunate enough to have toys. We sort some of his toys to give away to my moms church, who take them to children at Christmas, who wouldnt otherwise get anything

Blatherskite Fri 20-Sep-13 16:33:53

I found that exaggerated praise for sharing and totally taking away something that they can't share has worked well. Both of the children now understand that it's better to share than not having something at all and that games are more fun if they play together.

It doesn't always work of course but I've had comments about how well they share and how nicely they play together so something must be going right smile

rlouisa Fri 20-Sep-13 16:36:10

my dd1 loves her younger sister and has always shared with her, and i think she picked this up from yself and her dad and she sees us share things like the car, he drives it on weekends and i on weekdays, he watches his telly on some days and i on others, sharing has become a family thing that thankfully we passed down to our kids

CozyOtter Fri 20-Sep-13 17:08:11

I really praise my DS whenever he shares something with another child so he understands that he is being nice by sharing.

Seems to be working so far...

Rollerskaterabbit Fri 20-Sep-13 17:22:50

We do the monkey see, monkey do route. I let both DS see me and my husband exaggeratedly sharing pretend things e.g please can I read your magazine/use your deodorant etc. I have to admit it only works with certain things- fights still ensue over their mutually favourite dinosaur toy. Therefore when we went on holiday I'm sorry to say I purchased another one just so our 2 week break wouldn't be ruined by their bickering.

umabritmum Fri 20-Sep-13 17:34:25

Sharing was not a problem in case of foods or books but when it comes to toys, it was the main problem for my DS who was 2 and DD 4. So, I happen to find ways to make them happy in whatever they get.

Every time, we got to buy toys/gifts for my kids, I (and my hubby) will let them choose their own kind of toys - DS go in for cars and stuffs like that and my DD chose princess/barbie stuffs. We make sure that they understand that they have their own toys to play now and they shouldn't fight with each other.

But kids are kids, they silently love to play in the other toy brought for their sibling and that's where fight comes. Then again, I (parent) comes in between telling them if they chose to play in their siblings toy, you got to ask each other , " Shall I play with your toy and you can have mine ". And it worked ( most of the time). Whenever they share , I reward them by saying " very good" ,"good girl", "you are a star" and so on.

Slowly as they grew (DD now 6 and DS now 4 ), they learnt to play together sharing their toys. Sometimes they do fight but at the end they share their things by their own (without me interfering).

I also remember telling them once that the angels are watching over them and if they are good , kind and shared together, Santa Claus will bring a big gift for them during Christmas. - a kind of reward

Recently I noticed that they pick a topic to play and choose the toys for the play together. As I write this, I believe that kids can understand when we stress on the word "sharing" and telling them how important sharing is and when they do, praise them with rewards like hugs, hand shake, gifts, etc

treaclesoda Fri 20-Sep-13 17:36:42

Over the years, my method of dealing with any refusal to share has always been the same. Firstly, I try to be nicey nice and reason with them 'just take it in turns' etc. If that doesn't work (and often it doesn't!) then I warn that unless they share, whatever they are playing with will be put away and no one will play with it at all. Thirdly, and most importantly, I follow through on step number two if necessary. Have only needed to do it a couple of times, but the message got through, and sharing is mostly not a problem any more.

We sent DD to nursery - they taught her to share. I really recommend it if you have an only child.

EastFife5Forfar4 Fri 20-Sep-13 18:11:02

Sharing what needs to be shared - we lead by example, and it has seemed to work well. However, we do not insist in sharing everything - I don't want to share everything, so why should I force DC to? So far no problems with this approach. DC understand what needs to be shared (public stuff, eg at playgrounds,) and understand what can be rightly kept to oneself if one doesn't want to share, which is also ok.

poopoopoo Fri 20-Sep-13 18:12:31

Luckily my little girl is really good and understanding because my little boy hates sharing, we are trying our best.... My little boy is the youngest and has a tantrum when he does not get what he wants. We currently say if he can't share, then the toy/cake/pens/game gets put away and he has to find something else to do.

pootlebug Fri 20-Sep-13 18:23:03

Maybe because my eldest two are close in age, they are just used to the idea that they share stuff between them. With a friend round maybe not so good.....have resorted to the timer so that everyone can see it is fair and they've all had a proper turn etc.

I don't think I 'taught' my children to share as such. I just tried to make sure that, as much as possible, they played nicely and intervened when they became selfish demons at toddler group, at friend's houses and at any other social occasion. I praised them when they did share and made them give up a toy when the phrase "No! Mine!" (usually accompanied by a defiant holding of an object over their heads whilst another child was either crying or attempting to ask for his / her toy back) was uttered within earshot and I felt the situation warranted intervention.
Luckily for me they have grown up into caring young people who share freely and are generous with their time and possessions. grin

nocake Fri 20-Sep-13 18:51:34

We've never taught our toddler to share. I don't know if she's learned at nursery but she just does it. Having seen other kids throwing tantrums over sharing we are very lucky.

IncaAztec Fri 20-Sep-13 19:29:01

What are your top tips for getting your children to share with their siblings and/or friends?

Borrow from friends/the library and show them how toys/books are returned. Explain why this is not MINE/YOURS but for all to share.

Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour?

No, as then they expect it every time.

Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them?

Yes, some items have to be shared as they are so expensive!

What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older?

When she was very little my daughter didn't seem to struggle to share. As she has become a toddler it's more difficult. Reiterating 'Ours' and 'Share' works in time.

How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?

Not a massive issue but could become one. If your children are going to toddler groups etc you do end up stepping in to remind them to share more often than you would like!

fishewen Fri 20-Sep-13 19:57:18

Our theory was simple when dividing something to share - one divides it and the other chooses which they want. It is guaranteed to make them do it fairly!

gingercat12 Fri 20-Sep-13 19:58:12

DS has no siblings, so in the beginning I had to be very strict and say "Please, share with so-an-so." I also organised picnics with friends and the little ones loved sharing their food, so it worked. DS also asked me to get him similar toys to his for his friends' birthdays, so that they can share and play together. Thinking back it was never a big issue. Also he only ever shares something with me if he does not want it.

Faithless12 Fri 20-Sep-13 20:00:50

We're a sharing family anyway so we share meals when out and sometimes share Desserts. It just naturally rubbed off on DS (I think) he shares well with us.

I have three (close in age) dd's they have always been expected to share. Because we started young it was always less of an issue, they are used to sharing.

If they won't share the item gets removed and given to another sibling.... so it makes sense to share because at least then they get a play even if it is for a shorter time than they would like!

There are some items (their very special toys/ comforters) they are not expected to share and all the dc's know which these toys are (if they mess with them their own comforters are then part of the free for all!).

On birthdays and Christmas if they have been given something then that week it is theirs...then it joins the the playroom and becomes a share.

unadulterateddad Fri 20-Sep-13 20:48:13

DS is an only child, so we work on how it makes him feel when things are shared with him, the "smiley happy in my heart" feeling he gets, to promote sharing with others to let them have the "smiley happy in my heart" feeling too.
When that doesn't work, taking the item away for a fixed period until he says it should go to the other person to play with and apologises tends to do the trick.

malachite Fri 20-Sep-13 21:00:42

My two are still very young so I try to get them to understand how the other feels when they're jealous and encourage them to be happy by making each other happy. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. I also make sure they each have their own special toys that they don't have to share. I do enforce turn taking with most things and always split food treats down the middle.

littlemonkeychops Fri 20-Sep-13 21:02:44

We try to lead by example as much as we can. At playgroups etc i will always intervene if DD1 isn't sharing nicely. DD2 is still tiny so the issue of them sharing together hadn't come up yet but i'm reading all the good tips on here for when it does!

eteo Fri 20-Sep-13 21:34:39

always take in turn. Make sure they are aware that any fighting means nothing for them

androbbob Fri 20-Sep-13 21:35:35

A timer works well for us to ensure fair sharing - having two different age groups is tricky - DS aged 6 and DD aged 11. I try to engage them both in a similar activity but not competitively and lead by example on taking turns.

kateandme Fri 20-Sep-13 22:13:39

look out for everyday things u can share so it becomes a known and experienced skill.small things like offering them one of your sweets and how good it makes them feel,next time assk fr one of theirs.
get two kids to share a pizza.
take it in turns to do stuff.
dont give in if it isnt there turn they must learn.
make sure they no what is ours,the tv,sofas they are all of ours to share.then this toy is theirs but it is reaally really nice to let people havea go too.

Sheshelob Fri 20-Sep-13 22:47:16

I'd quite like EE to tell me why my phone signal has been so very terrible all day.

maximum4 Fri 20-Sep-13 23:00:41

A bit of good old fashioned 'Role Modeling' we always share clothing, games, books, food, love....we discuss being kind & generous & why it is a positive attribute - largely all 4 share freely.

Preciousbane Fri 20-Sep-13 23:10:51

We let DS see us sharing things as a couple. We also told him from a very early age, his dsis was 16 when he was born so unusual age gap and sibling rivalry was no issue.

We have always been very honest with our dc as well, sometimes you have to say the difficult stuff and not shy away from it, we are practical people and tend to just tell him.

BlackberrySeason Fri 20-Sep-13 23:39:54

Just persistence!! Seems to be getting there...after a while! smile

kelzw84 Sat 21-Sep-13 00:10:10

I have always tried to explain in a way they can understand why the have to share.
if an argument or disagreement over sharing something happens i then sit down and explain that if their not willing to share then why should the other one have to share their toys.
another thing i do is buy bits that are for sharing.
they have baking equitment they share which i use with them both together but also seperatly and we also have a kurio they share. they each get 30mins each on it alone then 30mins together.
i also let them share my phone as i have apps on it i have downloaded for them and allow them 15mins each on it

Cherrygrape Sat 21-Sep-13 07:14:37

We have always shared our snacks with dd, and asked her to share with others, which she was always been good at. She now offers us crisps and other foods when she has some. She just doesn't like sharing my phone when peppa pig is on it.... I need to work on that!

acrabadabra Sat 21-Sep-13 08:55:44

The oldest didn't have a long 'mine' phase so that was a blessing.

We definitely take turns though. Oldest (3) always wants what the youngest (2) has so we just persist with explaining she'll get bored in a minute or tell him to ask her nicely for a shot. Amazingly this has worked well.

We share as a family too. Due to money issues we often take picnic lunches out. We have lots of little dishes of different things which everyone knows are for sharing. If we have problems with one wanting more than their fair share we ask them to hand them round and then they can have whats left or tell them to share them out.

Seems to be working.

lottytheladybird Sat 21-Sep-13 09:17:32

DS1 is 3 and DS2 is 1, so they're a bit young to fully understand the concept. I generally say to them to 'play together' rather than to share. They get on quite well and DS1 quite likes to give toys to his little brother.

JudasGaga Sat 21-Sep-13 09:30:32

You need to explain to the child what is right and wrong and where the boundries are so they can respect their own and others property, personal selves and toys that they my choose to share in the play time. They need to be shown this and how to play fairly and treat all property toys etc with due care and respect. They need to be shown how to be patient with other children, explaining to the child that everyone is different and has varying needs and wants when in a group situation, some may have special needs or disablilities and children need to be made aware of those things as well. This way they play fair and treat other children with due care and put some thought into what they are doing. Best shown by personal example when with your child act appropriately.

GaryBuseysTeeth Sat 21-Sep-13 09:42:33

We share most things, we're hoping ds1 & 2 will just folliw from our example and not need to learn.

They're 21months & 7weeks and they already share the 'keeping parents up all night' responsibilty. Naturals!

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Sat 21-Sep-13 09:53:09

We've been playing a lot of games lately that involve taking turns. We took DD bowling, which she loved. Also games like dominos and made up games at home.

heavenlyharry Sat 21-Sep-13 10:32:44

I think that one of the best ways to teach children to share is setting good examples. Letting them see you take turns, sharing things and behaving in a way that you expect them to behave.
After that games which take turns. Sharing food, so if you give them a treat, make sure its shared between siblings. Rewarding good behaviour too

Babycarmen Sat 21-Sep-13 14:59:38

Sharing is an extremely difficult thing for young children to understand. My eldest DD (6) still struggles sharing with her sister (1) sometimes! I think the best thing to do is sit them down and explain why sharing is important and ask them to think of the situation if it was the other way round.
I think its also important to let them have joint toys/gifts with siblings but also that they get something that is JUST for them that they dont have to share so they still feel important and special.

AllSWornOut Sat 21-Sep-13 16:11:07

I encourage DCs to share by talking them through their emotional responses and setting time limits. I don't really use the word share, more concentrate on taking turns. I also make sure they know that they are allowed to have things that they don't have to share if they don't want, specifically precious toys/belongings. I think this helps them share things more generally if they know that if something is particularly dear to them they are allowed to say no.

Midwifeandmum Sat 21-Sep-13 18:24:29

I teach my 2 dds to share pretty easily. If one wont share then the toy etc is taking away from the person not sharing. Pretty old fashioned i know, but this how my mum dealt with my self and my siblings and it worked great xx

PollyPlummer Sat 21-Sep-13 19:52:01

grin the only things my dts share have been my womb and a birthday.
I leave them to it a lot, some may call it benign neglect, I call it promoting conflict resolution.
While I encourage dts to take turns rather than focussing on sharing, I think it really is just something they will learn in their own time, after all I know some adults who don't like to share.

I have 4dd's 3 of whom share beautifully, dd2 however likes to share the other girls things but isn't so quick to want to share her own! We have always just insisted on sharing as it's a nice polite thing to do, I think it's just basic manners and so we have taught them as such. DD2 will get there in the end grin

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Sun 22-Sep-13 06:18:18

I'm starting to wonder if we might have overdone it with making a point of 'sharing' everything we possibly can with DD1 to try and set a good example. Every time I mention that it's someone's birthday lately, she tells me she's going to share their birthday with them. I think she's after cake.

DoctorGilbertson Sun 22-Sep-13 07:32:22

Actually at the moment we are working on not screaming. Lots of "that's not how you ask/talk" etc. The hope (ha ha!) is that arguments over sharing (among other fights) will be quieter if nothing else.

grin sounds like an excellent way to ensure maximum birthday cakegrin after reading a lot more of the replies I think it is striking a balance between learning that sharing is nice for everyone but you don't always have to do it! my 3 love minecraft at the minute but we only have one tablet, there is an app for my phone so they can join each other and play multiplayer. sometimes I let them have my phone, other times I am using it.

We have a lot of the "she won't let me hold it!" "I had it first!" going on at the moment. I appeal to their "is that nice?" instincts and diffuse the situation by showing how one can have it, then then can nicely give it to the other. They do want to be nice to each other, they just forget.

Elainey1609 Sun 22-Sep-13 17:38:23

We just always played together and made sure we mentioned sharing and actively did it with them
Lead by example being a main aspect of the teaching
We regularly praise sharing as a positive thing.
We use a timer as a visual aid for electronics or things there are normally arguments over for example
The tablet.

PinglePongle Sun 22-Sep-13 17:42:21

We focus on the positives of sharing and try to show that children can have more fun playing with a sibling than by their selves. Parents joining in with the playing helps them realise that we can all get along, share and enjoy things as a family.

LentilAsAnything Mon 23-Sep-13 09:38:59
Lent1l Mon 23-Sep-13 11:18:25

I have one DD 18 months old and so far she has always been naturally sharing. She'll share food with any of the family, and when she has toys around other children she will often offer them before she is asked. Long may this last although have been reading all the comments for ideas of how to handle it when it if it doesn't continue!

Having said that, she doesn't seem to like it when you break things to share with her, sharing has to come from her side!!!

prakattack Mon 23-Sep-13 15:08:43

The best tip anyone ever gave me on this was not to tell DCs to "share" as it has no meaning for them and can't act on it, but to tell them to "take turns". Same principle but a much easier concept for them to understand!
Sometimes I have to act as a referee for a little while but in general they do get it and DC1 (4) is very good at independently handing a toy over when he thinks it's DC2's "turn".

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Mon 23-Sep-13 17:36:59

Nice tip, prakattack - I'll try that!

loler Mon 23-Sep-13 21:07:54

I very very rarely get involved. They seem to work it out better without me. Good example - dd gets the front car seat all the time, ds1 gets best seat for watching tv, ds2 can decide which he wants when he's old enough (he's now 6 and has never questioned when old enough is).

Bumpstarter Mon 23-Sep-13 22:17:10

Taking turns is one way of sharing. For under 5's it involves a lot of refereeing. I am not much good at timing for 2 minutes, and tend to go off and do something, so the waiting child gets swindled. My effort has been to get them to play together instead. Which they mostly do.

I have also bought them things separately. For example the younger one needed some more trousers, and I picked up,a bargain pair at lunchtime. I showed them to a colleague in the office. She was so shocked I had not bought 2 pairs... But the older one didn't NEED any trousers. It is important to show children that you will get things for them when they need them, and that fairness works out in the long run, and does not consist of you buying 2 things at the same time just because there are 2 of them.

A sense of fairness is so important for children and I believe it helps them to share and to be generous to one another.

aristocat Mon 23-Sep-13 22:50:37

My two share very well without my intervention. They are 9 and 11 yo though! I cannot remember ever having to step-in and make sure that they both take turns.

The current sharing is the front seat in the car, one day for DD .... the next DSs turn. He also allows her to play his prized possession - PS3 so not such a bad brother grin

mistlethrush Tue 24-Sep-13 09:23:19

DS has always enjoyed sharing - particularly food - because it normally means that you get a wider variety that way. But he also likes sharing things that he has cooked with friends at school (and teachers) now he is older. Games at school are also good for sharing - whether its a ball or a collection that can be played with at break times.

PostBellumBugsy Tue 24-Sep-13 11:29:05

With my DCs, I tried to teach sharing via praise. So, when they were toddlers and had a friend over & all the toys were out, I'd make a point of saying "Well done for playing so well and sharing all of your toys. See how much fun you have when you share."

If there was a battle, I'd usually suggest that one had a play and then the other, so that there was some sense of fairness. If the battle, would not subside, then I'd give a warning and if that failed the contentious item would be removed.

I also tried to remember that for children, sharing toys is like adults being asked to share their car or jewellery. We tend to think that toys are just bits of plastic rubbish for kids - but to kids they are treasured possessions!

JS06 Wed 25-Sep-13 08:39:08

I haven't really experienced sharing issues with my own two children although that's maybe because I've got one of each and the boy will eat anything you put in front of him and the daugher is a bit more fussy. They only compete now for the remote control. However, we've always expected them to defer to guests and offer them choices, food, games etc first. I remember once a child coming with a group for tea. I'd done a huge mound of mash, topped with grilled sausages and with a gravy lava all on a big platter. It looked lovely but one child couldn't stop herself from shouting 'how many of the sausages are mine? I said she could have as many as she could eat and that there were plenty, if she chose she could have them all and then explain that to the rest of the table. She took a sensible amount after that. It seems to be that when children haven't had opportunities to choose for themselves or to have something different they can become quite acquisitive. I suppose exposing them to more of the same makes it all a little less necessary to lunge in and grab.

majjsu Wed 25-Sep-13 21:22:23

I have always explained to my LO why we share, then reinforced it by actions ie playing games, sharing sweets and showing what happens if you don't share. She does have moments where she might not share, but she seems to understand the consequences. She does pretty well. I always praise when she shares.

hairtwiddler Fri 27-Sep-13 12:10:04

I have been known to use a cheap timer from IKEA to allocate toys/ipad at 15minutes each for a turn!

NorkyButNice Fri 27-Sep-13 12:59:22

We went through a traumatic stage of DS2 snatching and destroying all of DS1s carefully built Lego constructions, so we now have a rule of 'All toys (apart from the easily trashed and swallowed ones' are to be shared.

Seems to work well, and goes both ways. They are 6 and 3.

mindingalongtime Fri 27-Sep-13 16:55:10

I learned to share whereby if it was a treat, the one who cut it let the other one choose. I cut it and couldn't decided which was bigger so took a bite out of both and then offered my sister the choice! I wasn't greedy, honest!

mindingalongtime Fri 27-Sep-13 16:56:48

My minded children are very good about sharing because I remind them that. actually, they are all MY toys and I share them them with them!

purpleroses Fri 27-Sep-13 17:00:54

I've always found the best results have come from not making the rules about sharing myself, but leaving it to them to agree between themselves. Alongside putting moral pressure on the one who has the item to be shared. They know it's theirs and it's ultimately their decision over whether to share, but I make it clear I think they ought to share it with their sibling. Cause it's not really sharing if it's forced on you - it just makes them cross about not really owning things that are theirs.

letsgetreadytoramble Fri 27-Sep-13 20:22:39

I think the best way of getting them to share is leading by example - which is easier said than done! And lots of praise when they do share works well. My son is just learning to share - sometimes he's happy to, and sometimes he definitely isn't. When he's older I'll put a lot of emphasis on sharing because it's really important to building relationships with other people, making friends and being a decent human being.

afromom Fri 27-Sep-13 22:47:43

As DS is an only child I've always made sure that he spends plenty of time with other children, especially playing with his toys, etc, to give him the opportunity to 'practise' sharing with his own things.

Over the past couple of years he has suffered with OCD issues, particularly around germs from other people and sharing has been really tough for him. He worries a lot that sharing things, people touch his 'special' toys etc, will mean he can't use them anymore so therefore doesn't want to share. We have worked through this by making sure that he has options, "if you want to play with x toy when friend is here you need to share it or not play with it", etc. when faced with an option he regains some of the control, the decision, therefore being able to make the decision to share.

It's still something I as an adult am learning to do too! I really don't like to share my chocolate!!! grin

Tinlegs Sat 28-Sep-13 16:52:54

Model behaviour, as above. Lots and lots of praise for good behaviour. If we saw (they are teenagers now) people sharing we would mention it. However, we also allowed them to have one "special" thing which was theirs (a comfort blanket and a teddy) and they had to allow the other to pet / stroke them but not to take them away.

Davinaaddict Sat 28-Sep-13 17:21:24

My 2 are only little (3&1), but they are very good at sharing so far grin We don't allow snatching, but encourage asking nicely and it being ok if they other one says no. But I'm definitely going to use the timer idea used by other posters if we do start to have trouble!

pasdellyeuxunquenous Sat 28-Sep-13 19:20:24

my two DBs both share really well, when things go pair shaped (scuse the pun) they both suffer the sanctions until they have sorted the differences, I do not interfere except to mop up the blood tears etc. I have to say this is a stage I have arrived at, it took me a few years to learn what worked. My two DDs are still learning to share and much prefer to keep things separate.

clabsyqueen Sat 28-Sep-13 19:55:34

My partner and I over-act sharing our food etc to show DDhow its done.
My mantra to her is ...you are good at sharing (hoping it sinks in!)
I pretend to be sad when she doesn't share so she understands the effects.
I usually take out 2 of everything to the park eg 2 spades 2 buckets so she can share with others

poachedeggs Sat 28-Sep-13 21:07:02

~ What are your top tips for getting your children to share with their siblings and/or friends? Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour? Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them? What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older?

Well, I tend to buy two items, one each, but then encourage them to share. For example, today they each chose some sweets at the shop. They each had half and then came back for the rest but DS shared his with DD, who then shared hers with him (with a little maternal encouragement!). I think that sharing is something that cannot be forced on them, you just have to demonstrate that it's nice and can be beneficial to both parties. I HATE people making children "share" toys, eg at toddler groups, by making one give it up for another. I think teaching them to "take turns" is completely different and in many ways easier for them to grasp when they're tiny.

For any big items (I'm looking at the Wii here) the rule is that if both want to play it they need to mutually agree on a game so they can both enjoy it. No agreement reached = no game.

~ How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?

It's never been a huge struggle, largely because of DS's temperament. He is placid and easy to negotiate with, and so is usually OK with sharing. His little sister is less relaxed about it but she has learned from him so isn't as much of a grabby horror as she might have been if she'd come along first.

ladygoingGaga Sat 28-Sep-13 21:27:11

If DS has spa friend coming round I try to speak to him before hand and explain that his friends will only be there for a short time so it doesn't matter if they hog the toy!

I also encourage wildly when he does share nicely.

Then when it does go horribly wrong, like it does! Then I just referee and say if they can't share then I keep it. It works.

NotAllItsCrackedUpToBe Sun 29-Sep-13 08:51:33

Maybe it's because he's an only child and doesn't have to worry about another sibling "taking" his toys etc. but my DS just loves to offer his toys to other children when they come to play and his face lights up with pleasure when they accept. He also has been to nursery from a young age so the foundations for good behaviour around other children have been there from early days.

NotAllItsCrackedUpToBe Sun 29-Sep-13 08:53:08

Sorry, reading that back it's not much of a tip. Think I was picking up on others saying allowing your child to have some things or a space that is theirs alone seems to help in promoting sharing the rest of the time.

There is two years between our eldest boys and they have always got along well and shared everything as that's what they have been used to with having a sibling so sharing really has never been an issue in our house. Our youngest is 15 months, with a nine year age gap so maybe with him it will need a little more encouragement.

telsa Mon 30-Sep-13 09:15:04

I teach my children to share by sharing my things with them and showing how it works reciprocally. We also turn it into little games to do with fractions and numbers, which they seem to enjoy!

ArrowToTheKnee Mon 30-Sep-13 11:09:39

If my two are refusing to share nicely, the toy gets taken away and put in a time out. After that they always play together a lot better!

LifeOfMummy Mon 30-Sep-13 11:10:34

I have six children and I let them take it in turns to share out sweets, they share chores by using a rota system. Due to teaching them these basic ways of sharing it has encouraged them to naturally be able to share without arguing as they play.

Tortoise Mon 30-Sep-13 12:55:40

Mine have always been pretty good at sharing or taking turns possibly because there's 4 of them, it's something they have grown up having to do. They automatically share, even my 14yr old will share sweets that he has bought for himself with his own money.
If it's the laptop, they have an hour each and know looking at the clock when it's time to come off.

RubyRR Mon 30-Sep-13 14:20:22

I've always said its nice to share-unless it's my chocolate. I think the lesson lies in honesty, sometimes sharing is the right thing to do even when you don't want to. There was a clip on Chucklevision where they are sharing it sweets, one for you two for me, it isn't fair but I do think there is a natural wanting of some things more than others, whilst I have always encouraged sharing it's with flexibility, if you say no computer after half an hour but they are on a little longer to finish something they know that time comes off next time. They are not always great at sharing with siblings, very generous with friends though.

debsh09 Tue 01-Oct-13 09:47:17

My little girl always shares with everyone even if she has a packet of sweets she will pass them to everyone in the room. We started by giving her a toy and letting her play with it then getting her to pass it to the next person for the same amount of time. It was really easy to get our daughter to share though because she is a very kind girl

MichelleMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 01-Oct-13 17:05:31

Thank you everyone for adding your comments, this thread has now closed. Congratulations to supermariossister who has won the prize draw for an HTC One handset!

grin thank you! I'm so pleased, might even let the children have a go in the interest of sharing! smile

Support them so don't just go to toddlers & ignore them play with them to help them learning to share.

no word from EE yet, i want to play with new phone grin will have to watch some more reviews

christmaself3 Tue 31-Dec-13 21:17:51

i don't know why promoters bother with competitions,half the stuff here i have has been copied off the internet-happy copying sad xxxx

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