Please note: This topic is for discussions paid for by Mumsnet clients. If you'd like to have your own paid for discussion thread, please feel free to mail us at insight@mumsnet.com. If you are a start-up or student and you want to request feedback from MNers, please post in Media Requests topic.

Tell EE how you teach your children to share – you could win an (unlocked) HTC One handset worth £490! NOW CLOSED

(137 Posts)
KatieBMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 16-Sep-13 13:50:07

The folks at EE would like to know how Mumsnetters teach their DCs to share.

Here's what EE have to say "We're the UK's biggest mobile network and we've just created Shared #4GEE Plans. They're a new way for your household to save money while getting the fastest mobile internet experience on your phones, tablets and laptops.

A Shared 4GEE Plan allows your whole family to enjoy the fastest speeds on EE's 4G network. It works by letting you share your data allowance across a number of devices, with everyone enjoying unlimited minutes and unlimited texts too. Even better, it's less money than having everyone on separate mobile contracts.

Shared 4G Plans are unique to EE and we wanted to celebrate their launch by asking you how sharing fits into your busy life."

So,
~ What are your top tips for getting your children to share with their siblings and/or friends? Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour? Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them? What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older?
~ How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?

Whatever your experiences please do share on this thread (no pun intended wink).

Everyone who adds their thoughts and comments to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win an (unlocked) HTC One handset (worth up to £490!). For full T&Cs please click here.

Please note your comments may be used (anonymously of course) on EE's pages on MN, social media channels and possibly elsewhere.

Thanks and good luck,

MNHQ

christmaself3 Tue 31-Dec-13 21:17:51

i don't know why promoters bother with competitions,half the stuff here i have has been copied off the internet-happy copying sad xxxx

no word from EE yet, i want to play with new phone grin will have to watch some more reviews

Support them so don't just go to toddlers & ignore them play with them to help them learning to share.

grin thank you! I'm so pleased, might even let the children have a go in the interest of sharing! smile

MichelleMumsnet Netherlands (MNHQ) Tue 01-Oct-13 17:05:31

Thank you everyone for adding your comments, this thread has now closed. Congratulations to supermariossister who has won the prize draw for an HTC One handset!

debsh09 Tue 01-Oct-13 09:47:17

My little girl always shares with everyone even if she has a packet of sweets she will pass them to everyone in the room. We started by giving her a toy and letting her play with it then getting her to pass it to the next person for the same amount of time. It was really easy to get our daughter to share though because she is a very kind girl

RubyRR Mon 30-Sep-13 14:20:22

I've always said its nice to share-unless it's my chocolate. I think the lesson lies in honesty, sometimes sharing is the right thing to do even when you don't want to. There was a clip on Chucklevision where they are sharing it sweets, one for you two for me, it isn't fair but I do think there is a natural wanting of some things more than others, whilst I have always encouraged sharing it's with flexibility, if you say no computer after half an hour but they are on a little longer to finish something they know that time comes off next time. They are not always great at sharing with siblings, very generous with friends though.

Tortoise Mon 30-Sep-13 12:55:40

Mine have always been pretty good at sharing or taking turns possibly because there's 4 of them, it's something they have grown up having to do. They automatically share, even my 14yr old will share sweets that he has bought for himself with his own money.
If it's the laptop, they have an hour each and know looking at the clock when it's time to come off.

LifeOfMummy Mon 30-Sep-13 11:10:34

I have six children and I let them take it in turns to share out sweets, they share chores by using a rota system. Due to teaching them these basic ways of sharing it has encouraged them to naturally be able to share without arguing as they play.

ArrowToTheKnee Mon 30-Sep-13 11:09:39

If my two are refusing to share nicely, the toy gets taken away and put in a time out. After that they always play together a lot better!

telsa Mon 30-Sep-13 09:15:04

I teach my children to share by sharing my things with them and showing how it works reciprocally. We also turn it into little games to do with fractions and numbers, which they seem to enjoy!

There is two years between our eldest boys and they have always got along well and shared everything as that's what they have been used to with having a sibling so sharing really has never been an issue in our house. Our youngest is 15 months, with a nine year age gap so maybe with him it will need a little more encouragement.

NotAllItsCrackedUpToBe Sun 29-Sep-13 08:53:08

Sorry, reading that back it's not much of a tip. Think I was picking up on others saying allowing your child to have some things or a space that is theirs alone seems to help in promoting sharing the rest of the time.

NotAllItsCrackedUpToBe Sun 29-Sep-13 08:51:33

Maybe it's because he's an only child and doesn't have to worry about another sibling "taking" his toys etc. but my DS just loves to offer his toys to other children when they come to play and his face lights up with pleasure when they accept. He also has been to nursery from a young age so the foundations for good behaviour around other children have been there from early days.

ladygoingGaga Sat 28-Sep-13 21:27:11

If DS has spa friend coming round I try to speak to him before hand and explain that his friends will only be there for a short time so it doesn't matter if they hog the toy!

I also encourage wildly when he does share nicely.

Then when it does go horribly wrong, like it does! Then I just referee and say if they can't share then I keep it. It works.

poachedeggs Sat 28-Sep-13 21:07:02

~ What are your top tips for getting your children to share with their siblings and/or friends? Do you reward your children when they share to encourage good behaviour? Perhaps you buy one item for all of your children to share instead of buying one for each of them? What different strategies did you use to teach your DCs to share? Has this changed as they've got older?

Well, I tend to buy two items, one each, but then encourage them to share. For example, today they each chose some sweets at the shop. They each had half and then came back for the rest but DS shared his with DD, who then shared hers with him (with a little maternal encouragement!). I think that sharing is something that cannot be forced on them, you just have to demonstrate that it's nice and can be beneficial to both parties. I HATE people making children "share" toys, eg at toddler groups, by making one give it up for another. I think teaching them to "take turns" is completely different and in many ways easier for them to grasp when they're tiny.

For any big items (I'm looking at the Wii here) the rule is that if both want to play it they need to mutually agree on a game so they can both enjoy it. No agreement reached = no game.

~ How much of a struggle was it to get your children to share with their siblings, friends or even you? Or maybe this has never been an issue for you and your family?

It's never been a huge struggle, largely because of DS's temperament. He is placid and easy to negotiate with, and so is usually OK with sharing. His little sister is less relaxed about it but she has learned from him so isn't as much of a grabby horror as she might have been if she'd come along first.

clabsyqueen Sat 28-Sep-13 19:55:34

My partner and I over-act sharing our food etc to show DDhow its done.
My mantra to her is ...you are good at sharing (hoping it sinks in!)
I pretend to be sad when she doesn't share so she understands the effects.
I usually take out 2 of everything to the park eg 2 spades 2 buckets so she can share with others

pasdellyeuxunquenous Sat 28-Sep-13 19:20:24

my two DBs both share really well, when things go pair shaped (scuse the pun) they both suffer the sanctions until they have sorted the differences, I do not interfere except to mop up the blood tears etc. I have to say this is a stage I have arrived at, it took me a few years to learn what worked. My two DDs are still learning to share and much prefer to keep things separate.

Davinaaddict Sat 28-Sep-13 17:21:24

My 2 are only little (3&1), but they are very good at sharing so far grin We don't allow snatching, but encourage asking nicely and it being ok if they other one says no. But I'm definitely going to use the timer idea used by other posters if we do start to have trouble!

Tinlegs Sat 28-Sep-13 16:52:54

Model behaviour, as above. Lots and lots of praise for good behaviour. If we saw (they are teenagers now) people sharing we would mention it. However, we also allowed them to have one "special" thing which was theirs (a comfort blanket and a teddy) and they had to allow the other to pet / stroke them but not to take them away.

afromom Fri 27-Sep-13 22:47:43

As DS is an only child I've always made sure that he spends plenty of time with other children, especially playing with his toys, etc, to give him the opportunity to 'practise' sharing with his own things.

Over the past couple of years he has suffered with OCD issues, particularly around germs from other people and sharing has been really tough for him. He worries a lot that sharing things, people touch his 'special' toys etc, will mean he can't use them anymore so therefore doesn't want to share. We have worked through this by making sure that he has options, "if you want to play with x toy when friend is here you need to share it or not play with it", etc. when faced with an option he regains some of the control, the decision, therefore being able to make the decision to share.

It's still something I as an adult am learning to do too! I really don't like to share my chocolate!!! grin

letsgetreadytoramble Fri 27-Sep-13 20:22:39

I think the best way of getting them to share is leading by example - which is easier said than done! And lots of praise when they do share works well. My son is just learning to share - sometimes he's happy to, and sometimes he definitely isn't. When he's older I'll put a lot of emphasis on sharing because it's really important to building relationships with other people, making friends and being a decent human being.

purpleroses Fri 27-Sep-13 17:00:54

I've always found the best results have come from not making the rules about sharing myself, but leaving it to them to agree between themselves. Alongside putting moral pressure on the one who has the item to be shared. They know it's theirs and it's ultimately their decision over whether to share, but I make it clear I think they ought to share it with their sibling. Cause it's not really sharing if it's forced on you - it just makes them cross about not really owning things that are theirs.

mindingalongtime Fri 27-Sep-13 16:56:48

My minded children are very good about sharing because I remind them that. actually, they are all MY toys and I share them them with them!

mindingalongtime Fri 27-Sep-13 16:55:10

I learned to share whereby if it was a treat, the one who cut it let the other one choose. I cut it and couldn't decided which was bigger so took a bite out of both and then offered my sister the choice! I wasn't greedy, honest!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now