Transgender and autistic Teen

[kiisromeo9]

Hi, Im new here but looking for any mums that are in the same position as me that could offer advise.
My transgender son (14) has been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, also high functioning Autism . The Autism has taken 4 years going through agency after agency, but has now proven his issues.

Im a single parent of two, my eldest is now at college. We are in total acceptance of my youngests transgender. He has been going to Tavistock since June last year. He is due to start hormone blockers next week . But he is desperate to get testosterone before the age limit in uk 17, as he wants to go through male puberty like his peers to be accepted.

At the moment his autism is causing issues of him being in loud places, and around people. He is being home tutored.

Is there any other transgender teen parents that have either looked into or been to the USA to obtain the testosterone treatment. If so where do I start.

Is there anyway for financial funding as im no longer working due to a permanant diseminating illness myself and am on benefits.

What are the costs to get to USA for the treatment, how long do we go for etc.

Help

[TheBestChocolateIsFree]

I don't have any advice but I've reported your post to the moderators so they can move it to a part of the site where you're more likely to get helpful comments.

[WellErrr]

I'm very sorry that you're going through a difficult time OP

Have you considered intensive therapy for your child, rather than potentially damaging hormones? Your child will never be male, and I feel that it's unfair to medicate children in this way for what is essentially a mental health issue.

I realise that others will have different views and again I'm sorry you're going through this - but please PLEASE think before irrevocably damaging a young female body, with all the repercussions that may bring in the future. Also please research the amount of teens who grow out of gender dysphoria; it's something like 80%.

I do feel for you

[PresidentOliviaMumsnet]

Hi Op
We've moved your thread to our SN area
Kindest to you

[alexandranarino]

I agree with previous speaker, the best thing might be to wait because teenage years are generally very turbulent in terms of identity.

[Fayfoord]

I have done a lot of work with non binary and transgendered teens on the autistic spectrum .
The above statements urging your son not to do hormones or stating he will never identify as a binary other than his birth are hurtful and ignorant .
What are his preferred pro nouns .
I may if they are open to it be able to put you in touch with young adults on the spectrum who are also gender queer / trans / non binary .
I'd say many autistic people identify as a non standard binary " English law needs changing as do protocols in various institutions to support this .
Fortunately with bio metric passports and same sex marriage it won't be long before identity under law by gender changes . It has in the USA already .
Importantly though remember all the parts of autism , lack of awarness of danger, obsession , regressive behaviour , mix between intellectual and emotional maturity all still exist alongside .

I may also be able to put you in touch with a friend who works as an art therapist with autistic people who had also worked with young people via Charing Cross hospital with gender dysphoria and neuro diversity . They are private but I'm sure would be sensitive to your needs .
Private message me if that helps .
I have my own journey supporting a diferently wired 11 year old through the start of secondary school at the moment .

[HappyVampire3]

Do not listen to people trying to dismiss gender dysphoria as a mental health condition. If your child was born a different sex to how their gender identity feels that is a real struggle for them and their efforts to show their preferred gender identity should be supported.

I can't be of any help as this is not my expertise but follow your child's true self and remember it's kind of beautiful that in this day and age we are starting to let people be who they feel that they are.

[dysongirl]

Going through the exact same thing myself with my 16year old daughter who wants to be male
Also Aspergers