How do I politely tell this mother that, no my 14 yr old daughter doesn't want to come over to play with her 16 or 17yr old son!

[Wills]

My DD1 is at a special needs school for high functioning autistics. So was the boy in question. The ratio of boys to girls is 10:1 so DD1 has always been 'popular'. She doesn't have a boyfriend (mainly because she's obsessed with horses and long ago decided that she simply didn't have time for her studies, her horse AND a boyfriend who kept getting jealous of the attention she paid the horse ) but that hasn't stopped a series of requests all of which are turned down. Then about a year and a half ago this boy's mother started inviting DD1 over to play. I found this really odd so suggested that he came to ours instead HOWEVER DD1 wasn't interested. So I wrote back and politely stated that DD1's life outside of school revolved around her horse and that she simply didn't want to socialise outside of school. But this hasn't stopped the mother who continues to message me. Given that the school only goes up to year 11 he has now left the school (last may) yet I'm still getting the emails. If it weren't for the fact that occasionally I bump into her out and about I might tell her to go away but this isn't an option. Any ideas??

[blanklook]

I feel a bit sorry for the other Mum because she's obviously desperate to have some socialisation for her son, but that's not your problem.

Perhaps she hasn't realised how committed your dd is to her horse and that in the mum's eyes, it may have been perceived as a passing interest. Some people don't 'get' the bond between horse and rider or appreciate how much time and effort it takes, or what rewards it brings.

You're just going to have to be blunt and repeat that your dd's spare time and only focus is still on her horse and she's not interested in socialising outside of that lifestyle.