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DS 14 ASD, with crush on teacher

(4 Posts)
KnockMeDown Sun 06-Oct-13 21:37:37

Hi there please could you give us some advice on how to handle this?

Our DS, age 14, has a crush on his photography teacher. She is a slip of a thing, a very young looking twenty something. DS is very socially awkward and shy, and goes to an all boys school specialising in mild asd etc, so has not had any real access to girls of his own age.

We have learnt through a slightly older friend of DS of the situation. He is quite smitten, and has even google mapped her address.

Just wanted some advice on how to handle this. We are planning to speak to his SLT at school - she is a lovely older lady, think almost grandma figure, and has become something of a confidant to him. But how should we approach at home? Will this naturally blow over? They work quite closely together on the photography, as they have very small class sizes.

Any advice gratefully received. Have also posted in general teenager section.

KnockMeDown Mon 07-Oct-13 08:04:21

Bumping for morning crowd smile

defineme Mon 07-Oct-13 08:18:32

I'm afraid I have no experience of this (ds is 11 and did google map his ta's house but he thought of her as a 2nd Mum), but I know my local NAS group run courses on asd and teen/sexual stuff. Have you looked on the NAS website?
The teacher may not have experience of this and it's a good idea to let other more experienced teacher know. I know the first time it happened to me (as 22 yr old teacher) I didn't know quite how to handle it.

I would let the teacher know, if she's young it may be her first school boy crush and she will probably want to talk it over with a more senior member of staff for advice.

Crushes are intense anyway but I know with my DS (who is only 8 with asd and already has a soft spot for the ladies) that their feelings seem even more magnified.

I would discuss things like how he will only see her at school.

On NAS courses I've been on other parents have spoken of their teens following their crushes home (and freaking them out), buying expensive gifts, etc. I would focus more on what is and isn't appropriate rather than trying to minimise his feelings if you get me. Not saying you would, just that focusing on behaviours may be the way to go.

My DS has followed girls around shops, tried to hug them, asked for their hand in marriage, cried when they say no, etc and he's only 8 lol. I'm dreading the teenage years!!

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