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19 yo son has personality disorders, I can't cope

(3 Posts)
johnnybear71 Thu 16-May-13 02:21:33

I feel a failure just writing this but I just don't know what to do. My son (with his 2 brothers) and me got a house in shropshire. We've been here a year. I wasn't in his life for most of it through divorce and me going to jail. Their mother destroyed them with boyfriend and a step father who abused them sexually and emotionally and they ended up in care. 3 years ago i was able to meet with my eldest and then this son. My youngest was 18 months later. So last year I pulled us together in a house here and tried to repair some of the damage that had been caused. My eldest and youngest have some issues but are well on their way. So my middle son has what seems on the surface some psychiatric issues, I think they are more personality and behavioural problems. He has reverted to a 12-13-14 year old and throws tantrums and is very impulsive. He get pets, which I have to re-home (and cry over with the last poor dog) he buys crap with the tiny bit of benefits he gets and I have had to take his "housekeeping" from source. He throws my past in my face (I wasn't a good person then) and when I challenge him he tells me what right I have to tell him what to do, I understand what he means but its his way of hurting me to "get off his back" and it has mainly worked up until today. I was told by the local CMHT that they are going to start closing his file as they don't believe they are the right service for him and suggested that I contact psychological services to get him assessed for counselling, CBT, DBT. I am now faced with another 3-4 months before he gets any real help and I am at the end of my tether. I love him dearly and hate that my life has hurt him so badly and although I am unable to go into details about my life they had a lucky escape. I have my own issues but have spent the last 7 years fixing myself and getting myself into a life I could be proud of and give to the kids. He doesn't really speak to his mum and I think he finds my sexuality a bit weird for him. I am living with the fear that whatever I do or say will only make things worse and if I challenge him to much he will just lose it and go but I also know if he is left to his own devices he'll end up dead, as we have already cut him down and he has cut himself several times but they are not too deep. I don't know what anyone can do but I wanted to get it off my chest...

Gymbob Sat 29-Jun-13 18:18:41

just wanted to ask how things are for you at the moment? life is so shit a lot of the time makes you wonder what it's all about

KateCroydon Sat 10-Aug-13 17:46:05

Hope things are better now, and congratulations on getting this far.

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