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Anxiety in DS (age 11) over tidying his room.

(6 Posts)
Grapes2 Mon 18-Feb-13 21:22:17

My DS age 11 is dyslexic and probably mildly on the ASD spectrum. He loves lego and in particular lego star wars. He plays with it to calm himself, or just to avoid the world. Every now and then, I ask him to clear his lego so I can hoover the floor. We have set up storage and boxes for it all so that he can keep his room tidy. However asking him to clear it, and helping to clear it when it gets too bad always results in a melt down from our son. I have some sympathy with him needing his lego out for more than a day as some of the 'worlds' he builds take days. However even a week is long enough to result in a floor and desk that is completely covered in lego and lego rubble. Do any other parents have this difficulty getting their children to tidy? Is our son merely acting up just so he doesn't have to tidy up, or are we really riding rough shod over his emotional needs?

Flappingandflying Thu 28-Feb-13 20:41:38

My NT son also has enough lego to stock a shop. Ive given up with him clearing it and I do it. I am a bit ocd about it and like it colour coded then he can find things. I would ask him to tidy a small area like a windowsill or a desk but the whole lot is too much. I feel like having a meltdown!

Grapes2 Sun 03-Mar-13 21:09:11

Thanks Flappingandflying! Glad I am not alone! What do you mean by NT?

troutsprout Wed 06-Mar-13 07:22:38

My son went through this with lego too . He used to cover his entire floor. Then have a huge fit if I moved stuff.
Using the large boards helped... We got a lot of those. Then I could slide them about to Hoover underneath. The worlds kinda existed forever. I stopped clearing ... just sort of picked my way around them! He got into making animated films using them too.... So even more important that nothing was moved .
He still struggles a bit with any person changing anything in his room tbh and I realised that even though I couldn't see it ( in amongst the absolute chaos) he did indeed have a 'system ' going on. Certain things had a place.I started finding organisational notes he'd written to himself to remind him to finish certain bits etc.
This stood him in good stead for the future... I think if you can grin and bear it, the manic Lego world building did really help his planning/ organisational skills.
Never thought I'd see it... But it struck me about 2 years ago that he'd stopped making the Lego worlds ( go look at them ! I bet they are really good aren't they?!) and I (lol) even felt rather sad!
I feel your pain but I think maybe Just take a deep breath then shut the door and move on?

troutsprout Wed 06-Mar-13 15:26:30

Nt= Neurotypical

Grapes2 Sun 10-Mar-13 20:23:25

Thank you troutsprouts. Yes my ds also makes animations with them! And they are amazing worlds that I too will be sad to see go... Will make sure I properly value them. :-)

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